Friday, October 31, 2014

Knock People Off Train Roofs

Excellent! They should have this in India. Kaafi problems solve ho jaayengi.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

- Carl Sagan

'Have Information? Mail Us,' Says Special Investigation Team


The Special Investigation Team or SIT set up by the Supreme Court to monitor the probe into untaxed or black money stashed in foreign bank accounts has invited information from the public.



This is beyond ridiculous. Excellent opportunity for the jealous lot to vent out their frustration, though.

One more time - The right way to go about this is to first establish that an individual or an organisation has engaged in some activity that can be termed illegal. Once that is verified and validated, only then can the courts / government / respective agencies launch an investigation into tracking the money - Like in the Timblo Case - part of which has already been judged and fine has been paid. Illegal activity was first established and then the money was traced. When faced with investigations, Timblo admitted to the violation and settled by paying the penalty.

Inviting 'information' from the public is just going to make this issue unmanageable / laughable / idiotic and even more pointless than it already is.

Dikhaawon pe mat jaao… Apni akal ladaao.

Lekin akal ka tou akaal padha hua hai…. Sigh.

Thanks Pride… Love this one.

NOW BJP Wants To Caution CAG? Waah!


Addressing the annual conference of the CAG, Mr Jailtey said, "An auditor should be conscious that he is reviewing a decision which has already been taken. He doesn't need to sensationalise. He has to be an effective auditor, but activism and restraint are always the two sides of the same coin."

On Monday, Public Accounts Committee or PAC Chairman K V Thomas addressing the auditors had asked the CAG to restrict audits to financial impropriety and refrain from generating "astronomical figures of notional losses".

But his caution in a way echoed the congress reaction to the two crucial CAG reports - spectrum allocation and coal blocks allocation. Interestingly, the two reports were used by Mr Jaitley's party since 2009 - while in opposition - to target the UPA regime with charges of "integrity deficit" and "crony capitalism".


Tum karo tou fashion… hum karen tou pesha?

I agree with the views expressed by Thomas and Jaitley (in this context, at this conference). I also agreed when the exact same opinions were voiced by Sibal and Chidambaram! I have always maintained that the obscene amount of PERCEIVED losses was reported with the sole intent to sensationalise the issue.

To this day, everyone with a functional brain (capable of intelligent thought) maintains that the ridiculous numbers reported for the spectrum allocation or even for the black-money issue are unrealistic.

The politicians who criticised the UPA for its statements are now using the exact same arguments - That's totally fine and understandable. I mean, they are now in power and such flip flops are obvious. What I do have an issue with is the general (voting) public and the media. There is a huge difference in the way they are reacting and reporting to these statements/arguments now that the BJP is using them.

Itna bias?

Sigh… Chaar din ki chaandani, phir andheri raat hai

Thanks Pride…



Tuesday, October 28, 2014

War On Terror - Who Is Winning?


An American Airlines flight from Los Angeles International Airport to London was delayed Sunday after concerns over the name of a WiFi hotspot.

A passenger saw the WiFi connection, named "Al-Quida Free Terror Nettwork," and expressed concern to a flight attendant.

The plane was held at a remote part of the airport for three hours and passengers were told to turn off their electronic devices. Passengers said they were initially told that it was a maintenance issue.


'Expressed concern'!? What is there to express concern? You actually think that a terrorist who got into the country (or on a plane) using very well forged ID's, tricked the security scanners and the annoying TSA, carrying potentially explosive substances - IS STUPID ENOUGH to have his device / hotspot named with something that obvious (and not even disable SSID)???

It would seem that the terrorists should be the ones screaming 'Mission Accomplished'. Now they don't even have to do anything to terrorise the population. Enough paranoid hysterical idiots in this world who have shit for brains!

Monday, October 27, 2014

Wichita Police Release Sketch Of Suspect In Marijuana Heist

In case the above video didn't make sense, here is a more detailed coverage of the 'story'

Anybody else think that we should have a reality show for dumbest cops / intelligence agencies?

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Happy New Year

What I hated about watching this film (the most) has absolutely nothing to do with the film. In Kuwait cinemas, all of Deepika's dance routines were cut off. Basically, the only chance of me being able to enjoy this film (at least a bit) was shot down by the KNCC.

The only GOOD part about the film was Jackie dada, who looked amazing in those suits / get up. Suits him.

Lots of 'inspired' moments in the film, and that just makes me roll my eyes. Bas karo yaar. Seriously, bahut hogaya. They couldn't even do the spoof bits of their own films properly in this one. The film has exceptionally high production value and it shows where they have spent the money. But the film / plot / performances (apart from the negligible screen time allotted to Jackie) are CHEAP.

Many will insist it was intentional / by design and that's what the makers wanted to show. Watching this 'film', it is pretty obvious that this is another one of those masti ideas the makers had over a drink-session where they said 'let's see how much nonsense crap we can get away with this time' and they made a vacation trip out of it as well. If you want to see how to portray a ghaati character in a classy way, please watch how RGV has shot Aamir Khan in Rangeela.

SRK is easily ignored in this one.

This is probably the first time that Sonu Sood has managed to look bad (when without shades, it just looks like the guy has an eye infection or something).

Abhishek Bachchan is his usual cheap self. I don't understand why he always gets such pathetic roles. He is bad, but surely no one can be THAT bad that he never gets offered a different character to play!

Vivaan Shah's character is… well let's just say half-baked would be a generous compliment. This is a good actor who has been wasted in this glossed-over pile of stinking shit. Sad.

Dance Like A Chammiya song - I get the point, but I don't understand why it had to be so OTT. It was in bad taste.

Nonsense Ki Night song - This was the makers being obvious about the film being another attempt to shower shit on the audience, convinced that the audience will lap it up anyway (which the audience clearly did).

The entire Maa ke baare mein kuchch mat Kehna about Jag was ridiculous, unnecessary and only included for cheap laughs. Same goes for the bit about Tammy's bag holding an entire super-market. Given all the screen-time spent on these cheap laughs, wouldn't it be better to just put in a sentence or two establishing Rohan's rep / credentials as a hacker? Taking control of a DJ's console isn't exactly indicative of his ability to hack and manipulate security feeds or electronic voting systems or laser shields.

Don't even get me started on the bullet proof glass safe. In fact, the entire sequence inside the vault room is laughable.

The film was just one nonsense clip after another, thrown in and mixed up by the makers who are fully aware that majority of the audience comprises of absolute idiots who will clap even if SRK is jangling a set of keys on the screen for 3 hours screaming 'look at the shiny shiny'.

Thoda tou class rakho yaar. Kab tak kachchra banaate rahoge? Masala film banaani hai tou Dabang jaisi banaao na yaar. Ye… ye kya cheap chichore-baazi karte rehte ho!

Some Sense Of Proportion… Please



Digvijay Singh - "It is a very small thing and for anyone else it wouldn't have mattered...for the transport minister of the government of India, who is violating the law which he had to be enforcing, then it does make a difference," he said. "This reflects the attitude of the leader and the party, whether they believe in following the rules or not."

Yes - It looks bad when the Transport Minister is caught breaking the law. Agreed.

Here is what you do. You invite the press and show them that the Minister was issued a citation for the offence and then show the receipt confirming that the Minister paid the fine. Party members and Press/PR officers to make sure that the Minister is not photographed smiling while receiving the ticket or paying the fine. Baat khatam. Publicity bhi ho jaayegi.

What it doesn't call for is STRONG REACTIONS from the public or from the opposition. Seriously yaar… have you been to India? There are bigger and better and more important things to be making an issue of.

Dikhaawon pe mat jaao. Apni akal ladaao.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken
- Oscar Wilde

Be yourself. Everyone else is overrated
- L o r d R a j

'Oral' Orders


VERBAL orders instead of ORAL orders would definitely be a better way to put it. Thode padhe likhe log hire kar logo tou kya tum logon ki maa mar jaayegi?

What The Hell Are They Talking About?!

What the hell are they talking about? What Fighter Jets? Why are they heading towards Kuwait? What's the connection? The article makes no reference to Kuwait.

There are idiotic headlines, then there are misleading headlines. This one is neither. This is just incompetence.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press.

Mark Twain



Another one of those Zabardasti Ka Article.

Firstly, the points highlighted in the 'article' by Vishal Ingole fall under the category of basic common sense (something I am sure Vishal Ingole has never heard of). The points mentioned aren't secretive or tips/tricks or new information. They hardly merit an exclusive article.

Furthermore, these points are not specific or applicable only for Diwali / Festive season. I am sure Vishal Idiot Ingole isn't aware of that fact either.

Monday, October 20, 2014


If BJP suffers losses (UP, Bihar, Gujarat, Rajasthan), then it is NOT a reflection on Modi. BUT if BJP wins, then IT IS Modi Magic/Wave/Tsunami. Waaah!

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Kehte Hain Mujhse Ishq Ka Afsaana Chaahiye

Qamar Jalalwi…

Kehte hain mujhse ishq ka afsaana chaahiye 
Rusvai ho gayi tumhen sharmaana chaahiye

Khuddar itni fitrat-e-rindaan naa chaahiye 
Saaqi ye khud kahe tujhe paimaana chaahiye

Aashiq bagair husn-o-javaani fizuul hai 
Jab shamma jal rahi hai tou parvaana chaahiye

Aankhon mein dam ruka hai kisi ke liye zaruur 
Varnaa mariz-e- hijr ko mar jaana chaahiye

Vaada thaa unke raat ke aane ka ae "qamar" 
Ab chaand chhup gayaa unhen aa jaana chaahiye

I Don't Get It

The tweet isn't exactly a very eloquent one, but what is more disturbing is 473 Favourites and 172 Retweets!?!

Go figure.

The person who has lived the most is not the one with the most years but the one with the richest experiences.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Aposematic Jacket

Seriously… WTF!



A Tennessee woman who fell behind on her yard work was cited by code enforcers and served a stint in jail due to her overgrown property…

…The station reports that Judge Terry Vann heard the case last week and handed down a five-day jail sentence but amended it Tuesday to six hours.


This is ridiculous!

You can fine the individual (if it is a violation of the township codes). The 'authorities' can have the yard tended to by paid workers and bill it to the individual in addition to the fine. But jail time? Some sense of proportion, please!

BlackBerry Passport

The other day, got my hands on one. The Touch-Sensitive keyboard is too good! Pocketing the phone isn't an issue either (irrespective of what the idiotic reviewer of The Verge has to say). As amazing as the device is… it's not for me.

The dynamic 4th row will take some time to get used to (Shift Key and punctuation marks), but that isn't a deal-breaker. What is a deal-breaker is the fact that it is IMPOSSIBLE to use with one hand. Obviously, can't use it (effectively) while driving.

Sigh… will have to wait for the BlackBerry Classic.

Monday, October 13, 2014


What does the UK Parliament have to do with achievements in Indian cinema? Another one of those things that don't add up.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Finally… A Politician Who Isn't An Idiot

He happens to be a Republican! Well actually, a Libertarian.

Ron Paul for President…. OF THE WORLD!

Foreign Policy…

Foreign Aid

War On Drugs…

Moral Character Of The People Will Solve The Problem… Not The Law…

Big Government…

Spending Vs Waste…

War Propaganda…

Friday, October 10, 2014


Kaafi waqt baad kissi ne koi dhang ka gaana likha hai. Simple… beautiful.


Hai saaz tu, tera tarz main. Tu hai dawa aur marz main.
Dildar tu, khudgarz main.

Hai geet tu, tere lafz main. Tu hai dua aur farz main.
Aazaad tu, aur karz main.

Hai shaam tu, tareef main. Tu chain hai, takleeef main.
Tujhse mila toh paa liya - har cheez main.

Hai khwaab tu, taabeer main. Maana tujhe taqdeer main.
Tera hua iss bheed mein, iss bheed mein.

Hai teri meherbaani, ke andheron se hum mukar gaye.
Hai teri meherbaani, ke bin jaane hi yoon sanwar gaye.

Hai tu hi toh ehad-e-wafaa, tu baarish meri, savera mera
Main tera hoon humraasta, hai kashti teri, kinara mera


Typical Salman Khan film, made for the typical Salman fan. ‘Bhai’ ke fans ke dil mein aayegi (obviously) but kissi ki smajh mein nahin.

Jacqueline Fernandes looks good.

Nargis 'Duck-Face' Fakhri looks idiotic in the item song. I am guessing the only reason they put the item song AGAIN in the rolling credits (this time performed by Jacqueline) was to simply highlight that there was nothing wrong with the choreography. Jacqueline does the same steps and looks good while doing them.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Transformers 3 Or Is It 4… The One With Wahlberg. There

I honestly think this was much better as the animated series. The films have just been disappointing. The good parts about this one – It didn’t have that irritating prick Shia LaBeaouf. Other good part (for me) was that for the first time, I was able to tell the good guys from the bad guys in the fight sequences.

Serious lack of eye-candy, though.

Edge Of Tomorrow


The good part is… the aliens. Simple. Motivated. Dedicated.

I will say that this film was definitely better than the other films with a similar plot / story line. BUT, that doesn’t imply that this was a good film.


Short Trip To Bombay

Jet Airways – As always, a pleasant experience. The crew was courteous and efficient. It’s the small things that make the difference, and thankfully the crew (at least for this sector) is aware of that. Special thanks to Neha, Mirell and Sampa.

Just wish that they would ensure that the items mentioned in the in-flight shopping booklet are available on-board.

The renovated / remodelled / extended airport is impressive. No queues at immigration (arrival or departure). The flooring was clean. The carpets weren’t stained. The interiors looked classy. Attention to detail. WiFi all over the airport (I had access to WiFi till I was called in to the board the flight).

What was bad was… the smoking room. I don’t understand why they can’t have a decent smoking room. It shouldn’t be too much of hard work. At least they should have a separate smoking room / section for the business class / first class lounge. Is that too much to ask for, really?

Another problem was the staff at the lounge. A chattery bunch. I am sure they have their break schedules and it would be better if they would leave their chat sessions for those breaks.

I don’t expect them to stand like zombies guarding the sandwiches and the coffee, but I do feel that if there are passengers in the lounge, then the staff should be mindful and not yap away about their day or family or their latest android handsets with their colleagues.

The stay at The Leela. Amazing experience. Excellent service. The live music in the lower lobby – Well done! Everyone from the doorman to the concierge – extremely helpful, pleasant, courteous, professional. Makes one feel welcomed. There really is absolutely no need to step out of the hotel (just the way I like it). Thank you Abhishek, Baljit, Chaitali, Chandni, Payal.

The restaurants (all of them) have an amazing ambience. Jamawar was good. Citrus was good. The Great Wall was… an absolute delight (Thank you Nelson). Six degrees – I am going to miss that the most.

That’s the disclaimer appearing before the start of every episode of Jodha Akbar. The language is… ridiculous.

To depict the present times - Arrey, but why do you want to depict the PRESENT times? I think the word they were looking for was ‘prevalent’.

In historical, Jodha bai is known by names of – In historical what?? Historical texts? historical references? Or historically?