Sunday, September 30, 2012

Gangs Of Wasseypur (Part 1 & 2)


Honestly, wasn't expecting much out of Part 2. Part 1 was good. Surprisingly, Part 2 was even better. 

Considering the running time of the film(s), I found them evenly paced. I may not have been at the edge of my seat, but I was definitely not bored. Not once.

Not for everyone.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Ek Tha Tiger



Couldn't even sit through the entire film. Spy flicks are supposed to be engrossing and too much focus on the love angle just ruins it.

Then there were those chit-chat sequences between Gopi (played by Ranvir Shorey) and Tiger. The meetings they had, while on the mission, weren't exactly covert (even amateur spies would put in some effort).

The scene where Tiger just passes the restaurant bill to Gopi saying – "Why should I have to pay", was ridiculous and by then I had pretty much concluded that this wasn't really a spy flick.

Waste of time.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Sibal… Give It A Rest, Will You!


Sept 11

…"What kids see on the internet is mostly pornography and that is dangerous. The internet is being used as a platform for misinformation, selling spurious drugs and for terrorist activities. It is a great medium but being misused to bring about disaffection among people," Sibal said.

… He said that the internet was an unlimited highway and that the government was against setting limits on it.


The government is against setting limits? Really? So, when there was an attempt to ban certain Twitter accounts, the government was endorsing that there should be no limits on the internet??

How about the time when you said:

"I suggested that these platforms should evolve a mechanism on their own to ensure that such contents are removed as soon as they get to know of it... I have told them that this cannot go on," he said at a press conference in Delhi.

…"We are seeking their cooperation, and if somebody is not willing to cooperate on incendiary material like this, it is the duty of government to think of steps that we need to take," he said. "We don't want to interfere in freedom of the press, but this kind of material should not be allowed," the minister said.


Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Richard Gere - Excellent!

Tim Roth (Detective Bryer) - The character, wasn't well defined (in my opinion) and it shows in the performance.

Some of the conversation scenes should have been edited out (I would have enjoyed watching this a lot more). Takes away the pace from the plot. One of the things I would definitely edit out would be the last sequence between Robert and Ellen Miller. Ellen's reaction was way over the top and I didn't find it believable at all.

To be honest, I would have loved it if Susan Sarandon was completely edited out of the film. Can't stand her. Not sure if it's the characters she plays or just her.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

iPhone 5 Parody Promo


In case you hadn't figured out that the damn thing doesn't live up to the hype generated.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

GPS Shoes


… After uploading your required destination to the shoes via a piece of custom made mapping software and a USB cable, the GPS, which is embedded in the heal, is activated by a heal click. It then communicates to the wearer via a ring of LED lights to point in the required direction. The shoe with the GPS wirelessly communicates with the right shoe that has a progress bar of lights to show how close you are to the destination.


Interesting concept. This could generate much higher positive interest if they could do away with the LEDs on the shoe. Say, some sort of haptic response to indicate direction and distance as opposed disco shoes.

Another suggestion - Why not have the option to upload destination co-ordinates wirelessly? Just a thought.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Uzr Aane Mein Bhi Hai Aur Bulaate Bhi Nahin

Daag Dehlvi…

Uzr aane mein bhi hai aur bulaate bhi nahin
Baais-e-tark-e-mulaaqaat bataate bhi nahin

Khuub pardaa hai ke chilman se lage baithe hain
Saaf chhupate bhi nahin saamne aate bhi nahin

Ho chukaa qata ta'lluq to jafaayen kyon hon
Jinko matlab nahin rahta wo sataate bhi nahin

Ziist se tang ho ae daag to jeete kyon ho
Jaan pyaari bhi nahin jaan se jaate bhi nahin

Ambika Soni On LPG Limit


…After Thursday night's announcement, the government will allow only six subsidised gas cylinders in a year at a cost of around Rs. 400. Any cylinders above that will cost a family Rs. 750.

"As a member of the council of ministers I do realize the imperative of raising prices of commmodities like diesel and LPG, but this tough measure is imperative for growth.

…She added that tough decision hurt but they have to be taken so that the government has money to spend on social welfare and infrastructure.


Would Ambika Soni care to elaborate on what she means by social welfare and infrastructure? Given the recent nonsense being reported in the news, the government's idea of social welfare and infrastructure seems to include spending INR 7,000 Crores for giving away handsets to BPL families! I don't see how that can be categorised as social welfare. Do you?

If the government was actually interested in social welfare, they could (for instance) use the same INR 70 Billion to subsidise petrol / diesel / LPG prices. I am sure that would be considered a better use of the money as opposed to spending it on mobile phones. That is just one example.

And the typos continue:

  • commmodities (extra m).
  • tough decision hurt (should be decisions).


Uss Shaam Vo Rukhsat Ka Samaan Yaad Rahega


Uss shaam vo rukhsat ka samaan yaad rahega
Vo shahr vo kucha vo makaan yaad rahega

Vo tiis ki ubhari thi idhar - yaad rahegi
Vo dard ke utha tha yahaan - yaad rahega

Hum shauq ke shole ki lapak bhool jaayenge
Vo shamaa-e-fasurdaa ka dhuaan yaad rahega

Kuchh Meer ke abyaat the kuch Faiz ke misre
Ik dard ka tha jinn mein bayaan yaad rahega

Jaan bakhsh sii thi uss gul-barg ki taraavaat
Vo lams-e-aziz-e-do-jahaan yaad rahega

Hum bhuul sake hain na tujhe bhuul sakenge
Tu yaad rahega humen haan yaad rahega

Thursday, September 13, 2012


WTF is Renanoed supposed to mean??

Gizmodo has this to say about the new tagline from Apple:


OK, look. It's a really fun word to say. Renanoed. But like, this doesn't even have the insufferable pompousness of "automagically" or "resolutionary". At least those were puns. This is just dumb.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

"Women suffer in all marriages. You are married with two children, and know what it means to suffer as a woman" - Justice K Bhaktavatsala


The bench of Justice Bhaktavatsala and Justice B S Indrakala were told that the woman’s husband used to beat her and had thrown her out of the house.

Upon this, Justice Bhaktavatsala said, "Women suffer in all marriages. You are married with two children, and know what it means to suffer as a woman… Your husband is doing good business, he will take care of you. Why are you still talking about his beatings? I know you have undergone pain. But that is nothing in front of what you undergo as a woman. I have not undergone such pain."

When the woman's advocate produced photographs showing her swollen face, the court said, “You have to adjust. Are you just behind money? There is nothing in your case to argue on merits. You have to give him a divorce or go with him.


How the hell do such idiots manage to get appointed to a state High Court in the first place?! I was under the impression that one of the prerequisites to being eligible for such a position would be that the person be of sound mind. Evidently, having the ability to use one's brain is optional.

The prick looks at photographs of the woman's swollen face and his response is 'there is nothing in your case to argue on merits' !! What would Justice Bhaktavatsala consider as merit? The woman's corpse??

'You have to give him a divorce or go with him' - Yes. She would like to give him a divorce. That's why she is in the court. But this son of a bitch doesn't believe that she is eligible for any alimony or settlement because HE IS pro-family! At least award her something for medical expenses or litigation charges!! How about some expenses for her children?

Being radically pro-family is one thing. A judge insisting that the woman continue to tolerate physical abuse from her husband is just pathetic. This can't be termed 'radically pro-family'. The term that can appropriately describe such an individual would be Sadist. Actually, several words come to mind. Mostly abuses.

Perhaps Justice Bhaktavatsala should experience some first hand pain and suffering - so he can understand the situation more clearly.

Barbarians At The Gate

Excellent read with some brilliant one-liners. My personal favourite - "A blinding glimpse of the obvious".

As engaging as any business thriller could get. What makes it even better is - while reading the book, one ends up thinking 'This isn't fiction. This shit actually happened!'

The book is an account of the events that led to the fall of RJR Nabisco.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Wives May Get Monthly Salary From Their Husbands


NEW DELHI: Housewives may soon start getting monthly salaries from their husbands with the government mulling a proposal which would make it mandatory for men to share a certain percentage of their income with their wives who stay back and do household chores.

…"The work that women do at home is also economic activity but it goes unaccounted. If children are sent to a creche, then money has to be spent. If somebody from outside does cooking or any other work, money has to be spent. And the quality of work of homemakers cannot even be compared with others," Tirath said.

The minister said if a portion of a husband's income is allocated as wife's share, it is likely to be spent on better food for children, on their education and the overall quality of standard of living of that household.


"Likely to be spent on better food for children, on their education and overall quality of standard of living of that household" - Does that make sense??

Krishna Tirath is suggesting that by giving a salary to the wife, the overall income for the household will increase. Does she not understand basic mathematics? As per the proposal - the amount being paid to the housewife will be coming from the husband's monthly salary. Implying the net income available to the household would effectively remain exactly the same.

Unless the proposal includes Krishna's ministry providing remuneration to the wives OR a special allowance being given to men married to unemployed women, I don't see how her proposal can result in a higher income for the household or improve the overall quality of standard of living.

OR Is the minister simply suggesting that men don't care about the food or education of their offspring??!! That is a rather idiotic assumption and not very lady like. You are free to push your 'feminist agenda' by proposing whatever pointless reforms you want (not referring to this one in particular). But suggesting that men are irresponsible and don't care about their child's nourishment or education is not right.

Under the guise of 'development and welfare' of women, all you have been doing is promoting a bias against men. So, when I say - Bitch… put a sock in it - I am NOT being a sexist or a MCP. I am merely expressing my displeasure at your continued stupidity and would like it, immensely - if you would shut the fuck up.

  • Are you suggesting an Employee / Employer relationship for the married couple?
  • Who is going to decide on the working hours and job description?
  • Will the ministry approve of an employer's demand for a probation period for fresh recruits?
  • Does the remuneration include sexual services or is that to be treated independent from the 'scope of work'?
  • If the above is included in the 'scope of work' then who will determine if the husband should pay the wife or the wife should pay the husband?
  • If a husband takes his wife out for shopping or a movie, would the ministry endorse the husband's right to demand a taxi fare from the wife?
  • Would Krishna also include in the proposal that the wife and children pay for boarding / lodging?
  • In case the employer is not satisfied with the services, is he entitled to terminate his wife's employment and seek suitable replacement i.e. without going through the divorce proceedings and just 'hiring' a more competent wife under a new employment contract to replace his earlier employee?
  • What is the ministry's position on employing 'another wife' on a temporary basis to cope with the increased work load during holidays or festivals?
  • By equating the housewife's status to that of a housekeeper/maid/nanny/prostitute, does Krishna really believe she is working for 'development and welfare'???
  • Paying a woman to take care of her children and her house?! Is that REALLY something the ministry wishes to promote?

Clearly, you haven't thought this through… have you?!

Dikhaawon pe mat jaao, apni akal ladaao.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Twitter Twitter Answer My Call… Who Is The Dumbest Of Them All.

Picture 1

Anna Hazare Announces New Bla Bla Bla Bla


Mumbai: Following erstwhile Team Anna's dissolution, activist Anna Hazare today announced a new action plan, which includes appealing people to vote for the "right" candidates, instead of forming a political party.


Oye, Anna – Just thought you should know something: 

Err… nobody really gives a fuck about what you think or announce or have to say. It is about time somebody drilled this into that senile head of yours.

Don't take it personally. It is not because of your flip-flopping idiotic team or your stupid statements or your own hypocrisy. Believe it or not, it is NOT because you have stopped making sense (You NEVER made sense, so perish the thought).

The simple truth, you silly old buffoon, is that people got bored (finally). Now they are waiting for the next crap that the media will sensationalise with round the clock coverage - giving them a blinding glimpse of the obvious (love that phrase – Blinding glimpse of the obvious. Crtsy: F Ross Johnson)

There is absolutely no need for you to continue your yap sessions. So, please be a good old man and die.

Dark Shadows

1 SHEET MASTER_Template.qxd

Enjoyed watching this one.

The climax sequence could have been tighter. Some parts could be completely avoided (like the werewolf bit – wasn't really required). Thankfully that can be conveniently ignored and doesn't take away anything from the film.

I think it's a very good film but then again, I have a very different taste. 

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Nokia Faked PureView Demo Video And Then Offered A Crap Explanation

Here is a video posted by Nokia on it's Nokia Channel on YouTube.

Watch the video between 0:25 to 0:29. You are sure to notice the reflection of the cameraman shooting the video from a van. And he is NOT shooting it with a phone (and people thought Airbrushing an image for a magazine cover was a big deal). Perhaps it wouldn't have been THAT bad, had Nokia used a different title for the video.

PocketNow has this to say about Nokia's fuck up:


You need to check out the video yourself. It compares a normal smartphone (probably a leading competitor) side by side with footage from the 920 (or maybe just the same phone with OIS on and OIS off).

Amazing stabilization! But is it really the Lumia 920 capturing the video? Pause at 0:29 and check out the reflection in the window. We’ve done that for you in the image above. Does it look like a Lumia 920 is used to grab that sequence?

It sure looks like a professional camera but we might just be too tired and old with bad eyesight. What do you think? Is Nokia’s marketing campaign misleading?

When the guys at Gizmodo contacted Nokia about the misleading video - Doug Dawson, Vice President of Media Relations, Nokia said "To be fair, the video was a demonstration of optical image stabilization, not PureView" (!!!)

6 Bullets

The first half is watchable. At times, even interesting. The second half is just blaaa.

Anna-Louise Plowman playing Monica Fayden is pathetic.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

- Will Rogers

Union Cabinet Approves Quota For SC/STs In Promotions In Govt Jobs


NEW DELHI: The government on Tuesday cleared a proposal that would allow it to provide reservation for Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes in promotion in state jobs.

The Union Cabinet, at a meeting chaired by Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, approved the proposal for making provisions for quotas for SC/STs in promotions in government jobs


Ramchandra kah gaye Siya se - aisa kalyug ayegaa,
Hans chugega daana dunka, kauva moti khaayega.

Undeserving (or at least less deserving) candidates get admission on quota basis, while the deserving ones struggle and deal with rejection (despite possessing the merit) because there aren't enough seats for the general category.

Less deserving individuals with lower calibre manage to secure jobs, while the deserving ones continue to struggle because there aren't enough vacancies for the general category.

And now… less deserving employees (who probably wouldn't have even qualified for a seat in the university had it not been for reservation) will get preference in promotions as well.

All this under the guise of equality! If this isn't discrimination then what is!?

In other words - If your last name does not entitle you to a quota, you will get fucked at every stage of your miserable life. The logic being - these people (SC/STs) got fucked in the previous centuries. The government seeks to rectify that by fucking the Non SC/STs now. This is how the Indian governments define and implement Equal Opportunity.

Ambedkar rolls over in his grave.

Ek taang past mein hai aur ek taang future mein. Issiliye hum aaj pe moot rahe hain (Crtsy: Rang De Basanti).

Jaahil gawaar chutiye! Doob maro haraamzaado!

Monday, September 3, 2012

Lounge Bar Raided, 300 Held


The Pune rural police raided a lounge bar at Wagholi in the early hours of Sunday and arrested as many as 303 customers, 114 of them women, on charges of not having liquor permits and misbehaviour in a public place.

…The rural police has been getting numerous complaints from nearby residents about youngsters gathering at the lounge every Saturday night. They used to dance to loud music. Taking serious note of these complaints, we raided the lounge." Pardeshi said

…"When we entered the lounge, we found youngsters in the 20-30 age group dancing to loud music. Most of them were under the influence of alcohol and did not even understand that we were conducting a raid. We took their blood samples at the lounge itself as it was practically impossible to take all of them to hospital."


Mr. Ravindrasingh Pardeshi - You were conducting a raid on a Lounge Bar. What did you expect to find?

  • Did you expect to find a priest giving a sermon to his congregation?
  • 50 year olds sitting and listening to bhajans or singing hymns?
  • Were you surprised to note that customers in a bar were under the influence of alcohol?

Are you retarded or is it just that you and your superiors are corrupt (like any other government official in a position of authority) and this was simply a shakedown to extort more money for the unofficial police fund? Did you guys run out of walking around money for the month?

IF there is a problem with the paperwork / permit - then take action against the managers or the proprietors. If there are numerous complaints from nearby residents - shut down the place and launch an investigation as to how the permit was obtained to operate the establishment in a residential area.  Why are the patrons being penalised? How are the customers at fault? Are you suggesting that when I walk into a bar, I am expected to ask the floor manager to present the permit of the establishment before I place my order???

This is nothing but harassment and extortion. With all the bribes you fucks end up collecting, you should have enough to pay for treatment at a good mental / psychiatric facility.