Monday, December 29, 2014

Vafa-E-Vaada Nahin, Vaada-E-Digar Bhi Nahin


Vafa-e-vaada nahin, vaada-e-digar bhi nahin
Woh mujhse roothe tou the, lekin is qadar bhi nahin

Baras rahi hai hareem-e-hawas mein daulat-e-husn
Gadaa-e-ishq ke kaase mein ik nazar bhi nahin

Na jaane kis liye ummeedwaar baitha hoon
Ik aisii raah pe jo teri rahguzar bhi nahin

Nigaah-e-shauq sar-e-bazm be-hijaab na ho
Woh be-khabar hi sahi, itne be-khabar bhi nahin

Ye ahd-e-tark-e-mohabbat kis liye aakhir 
Sukoon-e-qalb idhar bhi nahin, udhar bhi nahin



20 minutes into the film was torturing enough. Quit. Delete.

Don't watch.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Things Men Do That Upset Women



Vishal Bhardwaj - Hats off to you, Sir. This is a masterpiece.

A very well made film (barring just one scene). I doubt any review can do justice to this amazing work. A lot of hard work has been put into the film, and the final product is worthy of all those efforts.

Brilliant dialogues and brilliant dialogue delivery to go with those words.

Confession - I have never expected any decent acting from Shahid Kapoor. But in this film… not only Shahid, but each and every character (irrespective of the screen time of the role) has delivered… and delivered well. Every character brings something to the story.

It's not just the acting. The screenplay… the background score… the direction… the production value… the editing… Everything is spot on! Well done!

*More applause

Margin Call

Awesome film!

This film is not for everyone. But… if you can put in some effort in trying to understand what's happening here, you will appreciate the film.

Happy Ending

Happy Ending Movie HD Poster For Free

'Inspired' heavily by Californication. I do feel the film would have been better if the last 20 mins were excluded from the final release.

That said… it was entertaining. Farah Khan and Sajid Khan should watch this film and take notes. THIS is how you make an entertainer. Even if it IS a rip off an 'inspired' project.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Diplomacy Fail


Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Ministry of Interior and Ministry of Social Affairs and Labor are coordinating to issue a decision for imposing a financial guarantee of KD 750 on Indians who desire to work in the public or private sectors of Kuwait. They will have to pay this amount at the Kuwaiti Embassy in India during the attestations procedures, reports Al-Qabas daily quoting security sources.

They affirmed that the step is in response to the procedures taken by the Indian government, without consulting the concerned authorities in Kuwait, to impose a financial guarantee of $2,500 on residents of Kuwait for hiring Indian domestic workers…


Does Sunil Jain get recalled? Don't see any reason why he shouldn't be. Does Shushma Swaraj sort this out? It is, after all part of her job. Isn't it? It's hard to tell these days, with Modi trying to be the All In One and all.

This is what happens when an incompetent daft cunt decides to implement a policy (beneficial or not) without thinking it through. It doesn't really matter when the policy was proposed or by whom. What matters is at the time of implementation, it wasn't done properly.

When it comes to such policies, you don't unilaterally implement the policy without engaging your counterpart in the discussion. That's not only irresponsible, incompetent and failed diplomacy, but also uncivilised.

How it should be done? Well… it should be done sensibly.

  • Low level talks to be initiated between the officials of the two countries. Reported just as general talks until the details get fleshed out.
  • Negotiations take place. Issue(s) explained. Discussed. Quid pro quo.
  • Guarantee amount negotiated. Concessions/favours/benefits promised (visa on arrival, preferential consideration assured, trade terms revamped).
  • Basic agreement after establishing an understanding.
  • Higher level talks initiated. MOU's drafted on agreed terms. Signed. Reported to the media as a step in furthering cooperation between the two countries.
  • Diplomats, Ambassadors, Envoys meet. Event reported and publicised. Government officials, ministers shaking hands.
  • Announcement made in the form of a joint statement.
  • Exercise hailed as a shining example of diplomacy in action from both sides.

Ab sab kuchch sikhaana padega kya?



British make-up artist Jordan James Parke adores Kim Kardashian so much that he spent a whopping $150,000 on cosmetic procedures, just so he could look like her. He has undergone over 50 surgeries including botox, lip and cheek fillers, eyebrow tattoos and laser hair removal.


I am not even going to attempt to understand what this idiot was thinking… but I will say this - If Jordan James has EVER seen even a picture of Kim Kardashian , then he definitely would know that the surgeries have been a complete waste. USD 150,000 down the drain.

That's NOT what Kim Kardashian looks like. Not even close!

Monday, December 22, 2014

Kabhi Tou Dimaag Use Kar Liya Karo!

I am assuming KK and Dr. G Pradhan would have some actors and the makers of Gadar charged with high treason for including the dialogue from Ashraf Ali (Amrish Puri) where he says 'Ab bolo… Hindustan Murdaabaad'.

Achcha hua Puri sahib mar gaye, otherwise for his dialogues in Mr. India itself, some 'intellectuals' would have demanded a lifetime ban (if not the death penalty). What about Anupam Kher's dialogues in Karma? I could go on with examples of these 'offensive' instances forever! Terrifying to even imagine what they would do to Ranjit and Prem Chopra!

[Sarcasm] Intriguing. These people find a film dialogue offensive but nothing objectionable about Modi's 'Puppy' remark/analogy. Waaah! Nothing wrong with Subramanian Swamy's idiotic rants… nope. Nothing offensive about Togadia barking like a mad dog. Nahin… bilkul nahin. BUT a dialogue in a film… OMG! Let's use it as a personal attack against the actor who simply mouthed the line. Yes. Because EVERY actor says onscreen only what he personally believes to be true. Shaabaaash! [/Sarcasm]

Dikhaawon pe mat jaao… apni akal ladaao.

Conversion Issue

Pretty sure everyone is aware of the conversion controversy going on in India.

As much as I disapprove of what is going on… I still don't see why proceedings of the parliament have to be disrupted repeatedly over the issue!

An excellent point is that NONE of these 'ghar waapsi' programs can be said to be initiated by the central government. On the face of it, these are largely being carried out by other groups / parties (may or not be stage-managed by the BJP).

The opposition parties have protested. Brought it up in the parliament… baat khatam. Now, let's move on. There are more pressing matters that effect the bleeding country! For a change… can we have a responsible opposition? We haven't had one in over a decade. Perhaps these people could show the ruling central government how it should be done.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Gone Girl

The book is so much better!

The film is watchable, but pales in comparison to the book. Seriously lacking. The makers should have put in more effort.



Definitely a good watch. Wish there were more films that were made this well.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

BlackBerry Classic


Getting two of these… Once it's available in middle east.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014



Prime Minister Narendra Modi and other MPs on Wednesday observed two-minute silence in memory of Pakistan school terror victims.


Modi was silent… for two minutes?!! That must be a record! So, there IS something that can shut him up!

Yes… I am an insensitive prick.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

'Hindi Reviews' - Err…

Firstly, the proper term would be Hindi Film/Movie Reviews and not 'Hindi' Reviews. That's just stupid. Alternatively, the section should simply be titled as Reviews or Movie Reviews.

Jahaalat ki bhi hadh hoti hai. Err… honi chaahiye.



Boyhood - That's the title, you idiots… not 'BoyWood'!

"Will Not Compromise". Ok… But You Haven't Done Anything


At a meeting of all BJP law-makers in Parliament today, Prime Minister Narendra Modi urged them "not to address the nation" out of turn. "I will not compromise on this," he warned.


That was in the beginning of December. After that, BJP MP's have shot off their mouths repeatedly. To point out a few recent ones:

To be fair, Sakshi Maharaj did later apologise for that remark and said "I do not consider him a rashtra bhakta (patriot). I might have said something by mistake."

Just curious (and I can't be the only one) - When Modi said, he will not compromise - what was it that he actually meant? Did he mean just convincing the MP / MLA to apologise for speaking out of turn? Just an apology? Hardly seems like an 'uncompromising' stand. Further, it's not as if an apology has been put in for all the offensive remarks.

Clearly one thing that hasn't changed is - It's still impossible to figure out what a politician's statement actually means / implies. We still have party stooges (of every political party) informing us that the statements have been misconstrued, misinterpreted, misquoted.

So… will a BJP stooge spokesperson kindly clarify?

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Jambanz Bluetooth Wristband Speaker


Not considering the fact that it streams music from iPhones, iPads, iPods and Android devices via Bluetooth, of course -- back then, this would have come with a wire that connects to a Walkman's 3.5 mm jack. If the current colors (green, orange and grey) aren't crazy enough to make Jambanz feel like a true throwback to 1994, you can mix and match the bands and speakers yourself. You can buy Jambanz from its website or via Amazon for $30 each


Sigh… and even more idiotic gadgets.

*Shakes head in disapproval.

Another Problem… Perhaps No One Even Notices This

Another major issue (in my view) is … it's not just MEN or INDIAN MEN but what is generally thought about Indian Men (it has gotten way out of hand… this perceived notion crap. Please understand - Not every man or every Indian man is a rapist!).

Two videos to highlight my point.

First video - Time marker 2:37 onwards. And THAT makes it to a blooper reel.

Second video - The video is titled: What happened with CNN female reporter Sara Sidner in India | Almost Raped

Yes… I do understand how the two situations are different. That said, in my view - The second one is described as 'Sexual Assault / Harassment and RAPE' ONLY because it involves Indian men. Because of some idiotic feminist groups (and overly enthusiastic media), ALL INDIAN MEN have been labelled rapists or potentially dangerous to women. Sure, the high number of rape cases also contributes to that tag… but not nearly as significantly as the fucking 'activists' and the special 'media reports'.

By no means am I suggesting that there is no issue in the second instance. Of course there is.

I am only trying to point out that it doesn't qualify as sexual assault / harassment / rape. Where as, in the first instance… if one DID want to make a case of inappropriate behaviour… there would be some substance to it. Again, not saying it SHOULD BE made into a case, simply pointing out that it could be if someone wanted to.

JFTR, I am not just complaining about the title of the video. If you watch the second clip after the 1:50 time marker, you hear the voice of Sara Sidner herself going on about how 'YOUNG MEN with the smell of alcohol on their breath were coming too close'… making it rather OBVIOUS what her concern was. Please note - The fans in the first video also were too close.. and it's obvious that they were intoxicated / drunk / drinking / high.

The first one COULD in fact be considered sexual harassment… but it's labelled as a blooper. The second one has no evidence of sexual assault whatsoever… YET it gets labelled as - REPORTER ALMOST RAPED.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Colleen Bell - Producer-The Bold And The Beautiful… Now US Ambassador To Hungary


Earnest hemmed and hawed before describing Bell as 'somebody who retains the confidence that, well, let me say it this way: Ambassador Bell has the president's confidence that she will do an excellent job representing the U.S. and maintaining the important relationship the U.S. has with the government and the people of Hungary.' Not letting it go, Karl asked him 'where does the president get that confidence from?' 'I mean, in her confirmation hearing she couldn't even name a single strategic interest the U.S. had with Hungary,' he pointed out.


"Frankly, I was not a part of this decision-making process"- ROTFL!

I agree that's a very poor show from the White House Press Secretary. But I wouldn't blame Josh Earnest for this (not entirely, anyway). Honestly, I don't think ANYONE can justify (in a relevant and acceptable manner) how such people (Colleen Bell) get appointed.

Of course, the fact is undeniable and irrefutable. These individuals may be lacking in qualification or relevant credentials but they make up for it by raising significant party funds and these appointments serve as appreciation / recognition / reward for the contribution towards the party. It doesn't matter if an official spokesman mentions it in an official statement or not.

This isn't the first time and it definitely won't be the last. Obama isn't the only one making such appointments. Closer to home, we have Modi making tons of such appointments which can not be justified or logically defended (speaking strictly in terms of principles, of course). Other Presidents and Prime Ministers have done the same… and future ones will continue to do the same. Sad… but true.

Sometimes it's a strategic decision (focus on a minority vote bank for the next assembly election - as is the case for Sadhvi Niranjan Jyoti) and sometimes it's a much simpler decision - Reward For Services Rendered (too many obvious examples. Doubt there is any need to list them).

The UBER Case In Delhi

Pretty sure almost everyone would be familiar with the case by now. Take a look at this:

And a lot more similar headlines. Plenty of chatter on the social networks as well. I just want to know… does the government (and the idiots supporting and calling for this ban) actually believe that it was the Uber Cab that raped the woman?!!

The accused has confessed and is in custody (And NO… it isn't the cab and it's definitely NOT the CEO of Uber).

The accused has confessed to committing this rape, and in all likelihood (basic common sense), it wasn't the Uber Cab he was driving that ENCOURAGED him to commit the crime. He didn't feel invincible because he was an Uber driver. Interestingly enough, he was accused of raping a 22 year old at knife-point in 2011 (which as per some newspaper reports, he was eventually acquitted of).

The company could be asked about the background checks and hiring procedures… but I doubt it would make much of a difference. Sure we can all talk big about what should happen and how it should be, but that isn't going to get us anywhere, is it?

Even for tenants and hired domestic help, the procedure is pretty basic (submit photo ID of prospective tenant or domestic help to the nearest police station). Hardly qualifies as an effective background check! So don't say that Uber wasn't following a policy (which should be implemented across the board but in all likelihood, isn't practically possible in the immediate future).

Reality check - Seriously… what background checks are rickshaw pullers/drivers or bus drivers/conductors subjected to?!? How about the employees at the RTO? Do they even have a proper (effective) background check for the personnel at the Passport Seva Kendra (Assurance that they cleared any security / background check would be a far cry. In some instances, one doubts if they are capable of even clearing class 10).

Tou, baat ye hai ke faaltu bakwaas na karo. Uber (the company) being singled out for this is pretty idiotic and I don't see how it helps with this case or helps in dealing with the serious problem.

Here is how MOST governments behave:

We have a problem.
Something must be done.
Here is something (doesn't matter if it solves the issue or not).
Let's do it.


Sunday, December 7, 2014

Swiss Banks Tell GoI To Fuck Off

Well ok… not in those exact words (but I wish they did use the exact words).


The ambassador said cooperation by Swiss authorities cannot take place on the basis of stolen lists of account holders and would need independent probes by Indian agencies and at least a prima facie proof of tax frauds.


Humne tou pehle hi kahaa tha

There is a way to do things and get things done. Going about it the proper way seems to be a bit too much for the incompetent, inefficient indian mindset to comprehend, let alone accept. Sigh… Hopefully there will be a few who do have the mental capability to understand something this obvious (umeed pe duniya qaayam hai).

Another thing - Just because someone has a Swiss Account or an offshore account, doesn't necessarily imply that the money held in said account is black money or earned through illegal activities. Merely having an offshore account CAN NOT be considered irrefutable proof of corruption or tax evasion. I believe it is important that the idiotic government mouthpieces first clarify this bit to the senseless public. Kuchch seekh lene say mar nahin jaaoge.

The sad part though is… idiots who do not understand ANYTHING about banking or law or anything else, are allowed to comment on articles like this. Here is the comment of one such deluded dumb fuck:


Modi Favourite To Win 'Time Person Of The Year'


Prime Minister Narendra Modi appears favourite to win the 'Time Person of the Year' poll, leading the online voting with a comfortable margin ahead of Ferguson protesters as voting closed for the annual honour.


When I read the headline, I wanted to put up 'Surely… there are people who have contributed (as in… ACTUALLY DONE something) a lot more than Modi to be deserving of a title such as 'Person Of The Year'.

But then I read the article. It states:


The annual honour, bestowed by the magazine since 1927, goes to the person who "most influenced the news" during the year "for better or worse."

Yes, that does explain why Modi is a front-runner… but… could it be possible that Modi dominated / influenced the news more than ISIS or Ebola?? Ok - Ebola is a virus, but what about ISIS?

I mean… if the Ferguson protesters are also being considered for the 'annual honour', then why not ISIS? The article does mention - most influenced the news during the year FOR BETTER OR WORSE.

Arrey… sawaal hai. Iss mein gussa hone ki kya baat hai?

Bang Bang

42012280 (1)

It's a pretty shiny, well polished… piece of shit! The plot is mind-numbingly stupid. The entire thing is way too ridiculous. Obviously, when you have something this idiotic in terms of STORY/PLOT - a lot of money will have to be spent on polishing it up.

The makers haven't held back… and it shows. Extremely high production value. Excellent stunts (Crtsy: Andy Armstrong). Everything and everyone looks glossed up.

Just wondering… is it really SO DIFFICULT to come up with a sensible / logical plot? Something that isn't completely idiotic? The makers obviously have the impression that the potential audience is brain-dead (or at least brain-damaged). Judging by the Box Office collections… the makers are spot on with their assumption.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Thank you Pride…

Tum Aaye Ho Na Shab-E-Intazaar Guzari Hai

Faiz Ahmed Faiz…

Tum aaye ho na shab-e-intazaar guzari hai 
Talaash mein hai sahar baar baar guzari hai

Junuun mein jitani bhi guzari bakaar guzari hai 
Agarche dil pe kharaabi hazaar guzari hai

Hui hai hazarat-e-naaseh se guftaguu jiss shab 
Wo shab zaruur sar-e-kuu-e-yaar guzari hai

Wo baat saare fasaane mein jis ka zikr na tha 
Wo baat unko bahut naa-gavaar guzari hai

Na gul khile hain, na unse mile, na mai pi hai 
Ajeeb rang mein ab ke bahaar guzari hai

Chaman mein gaarat-e-gulachin se jaane kya guzari 
Qafas se aaj sabaa beqaraar guzari hai

Casio's 'Kawaii Selfie By Mirror Cam'


The "Kawaii Selfie by Mirror Cam" aka Exilim MR1 costs about $330 in Hong Kong and is rather self-explanatory: Its 14-megapixel module is hidden right behind a curved mirror for the convenience of taking selfies, with the trade-off being you get a hilariously slow f/5 aperture due to the light reflection (and that little LED flash really won't help much in the dark). As for the "kawaii" part, you can use the software to enhance your skin tone plus smoothness, and you can even see a live preview on the screen (which obviously isn't so useful when taking those selfies).


People have WAAAAAY too much time on their hands (goes for the makers of this product and also for users).

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

DD News Anchor Issue

This is what went viral in the last week. It is sad, pathetic… and yes, it IS funny.

Now we have certain people / groups damning me (and anyone who laughed and criticised DD and the anchor) for being insensitive bullies. For RUINING this anchor's career. Hmmm.

Then we had this other video:


Here is the thing - We have laughed at a lot of politicians. Lots of actors. Lots of film makers. Lots of 'writers'. Criticised a lot of them. Scathing abusive critiques. Unfortunately (for us) and fortunately for them - their careers seem unaffected. If that wasn't the case then Mandira Bedi or Roshni Chopra wouldn't have a career (remember those super idiotic after-match cricket shows?).

Kareena Kapoor, SRK, Aishwarya Rai, Kapil Sibal, Modi, MMS, Rahul Gandhi… All of them (and many more) have been criticised (repeatedly) for making irresponsible / unverified / insensitive / idiotic statements OR putting in horrible hammed performances. Most of them even refuse to acknowledge they made a gaffe! As much as I would have preferred an end to each of those individual's career (in some cases - life), it hasn't happened…

There is absolutely no reason why this girl's (Yes, I can't be bothered to recall her name) entire life should take a dive. If she can't handle criticism, then clearly she is in the wrong line of business / career / profession. Yes. Now I want to criticise her for that.

She may not get any more 'anchoring' jobs from DD, but that doesn't mean she won't be getting any jobs at all. I just hope that next time, she does INSIST on proper rehearsals and preparations.

Technical failure bit, well that's just bad luck. Shit happens. And evidently a LOT OF shit happens at Doordarshan. If she wants appreciation or concession for handling the situation, in spite of a technical glitch… well it would be coming if she had handled the situation WELL. Anyone who has seen the clip will agree that, this isn't applicable in her case.

Itna tension lene waali kya baat hai? Chill yaar… ab news bloopers (especially Live News Fails) pe bhi na hasen? Bas kya?!

Ranjit Sinha Can Hopefully Get SOME Peace Of Mind, Now


"I am not going to say anything. I have done no good work. Write what you want to write. Enough dirt has been thrown upon me," he shot back at reporters who had asked him to sum up his tenure in CBI.


I genuinely feel bad for this guy. Hope he gets a well deserved break from the idiotic media and over-enthusiastic courts / lawyers.