Monday, December 29, 2014

Vafa-E-Vaada Nahin, Vaada-E-Digar Bhi Nahin

Faiz…

Vafa-e-vaada nahin, vaada-e-digar bhi nahin
Woh mujhse roothe tou the, lekin is qadar bhi nahin

Baras rahi hai hareem-e-hawas mein daulat-e-husn
Gadaa-e-ishq ke kaase mein ik nazar bhi nahin

Na jaane kis liye ummeedwaar baitha hoon
Ik aisii raah pe jo teri rahguzar bhi nahin

Nigaah-e-shauq sar-e-bazm be-hijaab na ho
Woh be-khabar hi sahi, itne be-khabar bhi nahin

Ye ahd-e-tark-e-mohabbat kis liye aakhir 
Sukoon-e-qalb idhar bhi nahin, udhar bhi nahin

Zid

Intolerable.

20 minutes into the film was torturing enough. Quit. Delete.

Don't watch.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Things Men Do That Upset Women

Haider

*Applause

Vishal Bhardwaj - Hats off to you, Sir. This is a masterpiece.

A very well made film (barring just one scene). I doubt any review can do justice to this amazing work. A lot of hard work has been put into the film, and the final product is worthy of all those efforts.

Brilliant dialogues and brilliant dialogue delivery to go with those words.

Confession - I have never expected any decent acting from Shahid Kapoor. But in this film… not only Shahid, but each and every character (irrespective of the screen time of the role) has delivered… and delivered well. Every character brings something to the story.

It's not just the acting. The screenplay… the background score… the direction… the production value… the editing… Everything is spot on! Well done!

*More applause

Margin Call

Awesome film!

This film is not for everyone. But… if you can put in some effort in trying to understand what's happening here, you will appreciate the film.

Happy Ending

Happy Ending Movie HD Poster For Free

'Inspired' heavily by Californication. I do feel the film would have been better if the last 20 mins were excluded from the final release.

That said… it was entertaining. Farah Khan and Sajid Khan should watch this film and take notes. THIS is how you make an entertainer. Even if it IS a rip off an 'inspired' project.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Diplomacy Fail

"

Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Ministry of Interior and Ministry of Social Affairs and Labor are coordinating to issue a decision for imposing a financial guarantee of KD 750 on Indians who desire to work in the public or private sectors of Kuwait. They will have to pay this amount at the Kuwaiti Embassy in India during the attestations procedures, reports Al-Qabas daily quoting security sources.

They affirmed that the step is in response to the procedures taken by the Indian government, without consulting the concerned authorities in Kuwait, to impose a financial guarantee of $2,500 on residents of Kuwait for hiring Indian domestic workers…

Link

Does Sunil Jain get recalled? Don't see any reason why he shouldn't be. Does Shushma Swaraj sort this out? It is, after all part of her job. Isn't it? It's hard to tell these days, with Modi trying to be the All In One and all.

This is what happens when an incompetent daft cunt decides to implement a policy (beneficial or not) without thinking it through. It doesn't really matter when the policy was proposed or by whom. What matters is at the time of implementation, it wasn't done properly.

When it comes to such policies, you don't unilaterally implement the policy without engaging your counterpart in the discussion. That's not only irresponsible, incompetent and failed diplomacy, but also uncivilised.

How it should be done? Well… it should be done sensibly.

  • Low level talks to be initiated between the officials of the two countries. Reported just as general talks until the details get fleshed out.
  • Negotiations take place. Issue(s) explained. Discussed. Quid pro quo.
  • Guarantee amount negotiated. Concessions/favours/benefits promised (visa on arrival, preferential consideration assured, trade terms revamped).
  • Basic agreement after establishing an understanding.
  • Higher level talks initiated. MOU's drafted on agreed terms. Signed. Reported to the media as a step in furthering cooperation between the two countries.
  • Diplomats, Ambassadors, Envoys meet. Event reported and publicised. Government officials, ministers shaking hands.
  • Announcement made in the form of a joint statement.
  • Exercise hailed as a shining example of diplomacy in action from both sides.

Ab sab kuchch sikhaana padega kya?

Idiot!

"

British make-up artist Jordan James Parke adores Kim Kardashian so much that he spent a whopping $150,000 on cosmetic procedures, just so he could look like her. He has undergone over 50 surgeries including botox, lip and cheek fillers, eyebrow tattoos and laser hair removal.

Link

I am not even going to attempt to understand what this idiot was thinking… but I will say this - If Jordan James has EVER seen even a picture of Kim Kardashian , then he definitely would know that the surgeries have been a complete waste. USD 150,000 down the drain.

That's NOT what Kim Kardashian looks like. Not even close!

Monday, December 22, 2014

Kabhi Tou Dimaag Use Kar Liya Karo!

I am assuming KK and Dr. G Pradhan would have some actors and the makers of Gadar charged with high treason for including the dialogue from Ashraf Ali (Amrish Puri) where he says 'Ab bolo… Hindustan Murdaabaad'.

Achcha hua Puri sahib mar gaye, otherwise for his dialogues in Mr. India itself, some 'intellectuals' would have demanded a lifetime ban (if not the death penalty). What about Anupam Kher's dialogues in Karma? I could go on with examples of these 'offensive' instances forever! Terrifying to even imagine what they would do to Ranjit and Prem Chopra!

[Sarcasm] Intriguing. These people find a film dialogue offensive but nothing objectionable about Modi's 'Puppy' remark/analogy. Waaah! Nothing wrong with Subramanian Swamy's idiotic rants… nope. Nothing offensive about Togadia barking like a mad dog. Nahin… bilkul nahin. BUT a dialogue in a film… OMG! Let's use it as a personal attack against the actor who simply mouthed the line. Yes. Because EVERY actor says onscreen only what he personally believes to be true. Shaabaaash! [/Sarcasm]

Dikhaawon pe mat jaao… apni akal ladaao.

Conversion Issue

Pretty sure everyone is aware of the conversion controversy going on in India.

As much as I disapprove of what is going on… I still don't see why proceedings of the parliament have to be disrupted repeatedly over the issue!

An excellent point is that NONE of these 'ghar waapsi' programs can be said to be initiated by the central government. On the face of it, these are largely being carried out by other groups / parties (may or not be stage-managed by the BJP).

The opposition parties have protested. Brought it up in the parliament… baat khatam. Now, let's move on. There are more pressing matters that effect the bleeding country! For a change… can we have a responsible opposition? We haven't had one in over a decade. Perhaps these people could show the ruling central government how it should be done.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Gone Girl

The book is so much better!

The film is watchable, but pales in comparison to the book. Seriously lacking. The makers should have put in more effort.

Moneyball

Nice!

Definitely a good watch. Wish there were more films that were made this well.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

BlackBerry Classic

YES!

Getting two of these… Once it's available in middle east.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Wow!

"

Prime Minister Narendra Modi and other MPs on Wednesday observed two-minute silence in memory of Pakistan school terror victims.

Link

Modi was silent… for two minutes?!! That must be a record! So, there IS something that can shut him up!

Yes… I am an insensitive prick.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

'Hindi Reviews' - Err…

Firstly, the proper term would be Hindi Film/Movie Reviews and not 'Hindi' Reviews. That's just stupid. Alternatively, the section should simply be titled as Reviews or Movie Reviews.

Jahaalat ki bhi hadh hoti hai. Err… honi chaahiye.

Typo

  

Boyhood - That's the title, you idiots… not 'BoyWood'!

"Will Not Compromise". Ok… But You Haven't Done Anything

"

At a meeting of all BJP law-makers in Parliament today, Prime Minister Narendra Modi urged them "not to address the nation" out of turn. "I will not compromise on this," he warned.

Link

That was in the beginning of December. After that, BJP MP's have shot off their mouths repeatedly. To point out a few recent ones:

To be fair, Sakshi Maharaj did later apologise for that remark and said "I do not consider him a rashtra bhakta (patriot). I might have said something by mistake."

Just curious (and I can't be the only one) - When Modi said, he will not compromise - what was it that he actually meant? Did he mean just convincing the MP / MLA to apologise for speaking out of turn? Just an apology? Hardly seems like an 'uncompromising' stand. Further, it's not as if an apology has been put in for all the offensive remarks.

Clearly one thing that hasn't changed is - It's still impossible to figure out what a politician's statement actually means / implies. We still have party stooges (of every political party) informing us that the statements have been misconstrued, misinterpreted, misquoted.

So… will a BJP stooge spokesperson kindly clarify?

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Jambanz Bluetooth Wristband Speaker

http://jambanz.com/

"

Not considering the fact that it streams music from iPhones, iPads, iPods and Android devices via Bluetooth, of course -- back then, this would have come with a wire that connects to a Walkman's 3.5 mm jack. If the current colors (green, orange and grey) aren't crazy enough to make Jambanz feel like a true throwback to 1994, you can mix and match the bands and speakers yourself. You can buy Jambanz from its website or via Amazon for $30 each

Link

Sigh… and even more idiotic gadgets.

*Shakes head in disapproval.

Another Problem… Perhaps No One Even Notices This

Another major issue (in my view) is … it's not just MEN or INDIAN MEN but what is generally thought about Indian Men (it has gotten way out of hand… this perceived notion crap. Please understand - Not every man or every Indian man is a rapist!).

Two videos to highlight my point.

First video - Time marker 2:37 onwards. And THAT makes it to a blooper reel.

Second video - The video is titled: What happened with CNN female reporter Sara Sidner in India | Almost Raped

Yes… I do understand how the two situations are different. That said, in my view - The second one is described as 'Sexual Assault / Harassment and RAPE' ONLY because it involves Indian men. Because of some idiotic feminist groups (and overly enthusiastic media), ALL INDIAN MEN have been labelled rapists or potentially dangerous to women. Sure, the high number of rape cases also contributes to that tag… but not nearly as significantly as the fucking 'activists' and the special 'media reports'.

By no means am I suggesting that there is no issue in the second instance. Of course there is.

I am only trying to point out that it doesn't qualify as sexual assault / harassment / rape. Where as, in the first instance… if one DID want to make a case of inappropriate behaviour… there would be some substance to it. Again, not saying it SHOULD BE made into a case, simply pointing out that it could be if someone wanted to.

JFTR, I am not just complaining about the title of the video. If you watch the second clip after the 1:50 time marker, you hear the voice of Sara Sidner herself going on about how 'YOUNG MEN with the smell of alcohol on their breath were coming too close'… making it rather OBVIOUS what her concern was. Please note - The fans in the first video also were too close.. and it's obvious that they were intoxicated / drunk / drinking / high.

The first one COULD in fact be considered sexual harassment… but it's labelled as a blooper. The second one has no evidence of sexual assault whatsoever… YET it gets labelled as - REPORTER ALMOST RAPED.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Colleen Bell - Producer-The Bold And The Beautiful… Now US Ambassador To Hungary

"

Earnest hemmed and hawed before describing Bell as 'somebody who retains the confidence that, well, let me say it this way: Ambassador Bell has the president's confidence that she will do an excellent job representing the U.S. and maintaining the important relationship the U.S. has with the government and the people of Hungary.' Not letting it go, Karl asked him 'where does the president get that confidence from?' 'I mean, in her confirmation hearing she couldn't even name a single strategic interest the U.S. had with Hungary,' he pointed out.

Link

"Frankly, I was not a part of this decision-making process"- ROTFL!

I agree that's a very poor show from the White House Press Secretary. But I wouldn't blame Josh Earnest for this (not entirely, anyway). Honestly, I don't think ANYONE can justify (in a relevant and acceptable manner) how such people (Colleen Bell) get appointed.

Of course, the fact is undeniable and irrefutable. These individuals may be lacking in qualification or relevant credentials but they make up for it by raising significant party funds and these appointments serve as appreciation / recognition / reward for the contribution towards the party. It doesn't matter if an official spokesman mentions it in an official statement or not.

This isn't the first time and it definitely won't be the last. Obama isn't the only one making such appointments. Closer to home, we have Modi making tons of such appointments which can not be justified or logically defended (speaking strictly in terms of principles, of course). Other Presidents and Prime Ministers have done the same… and future ones will continue to do the same. Sad… but true.

Sometimes it's a strategic decision (focus on a minority vote bank for the next assembly election - as is the case for Sadhvi Niranjan Jyoti) and sometimes it's a much simpler decision - Reward For Services Rendered (too many obvious examples. Doubt there is any need to list them).

The UBER Case In Delhi

Pretty sure almost everyone would be familiar with the case by now. Take a look at this:

And a lot more similar headlines. Plenty of chatter on the social networks as well. I just want to know… does the government (and the idiots supporting and calling for this ban) actually believe that it was the Uber Cab that raped the woman?!!

The accused has confessed and is in custody (And NO… it isn't the cab and it's definitely NOT the CEO of Uber).

The accused has confessed to committing this rape, and in all likelihood (basic common sense), it wasn't the Uber Cab he was driving that ENCOURAGED him to commit the crime. He didn't feel invincible because he was an Uber driver. Interestingly enough, he was accused of raping a 22 year old at knife-point in 2011 (which as per some newspaper reports, he was eventually acquitted of).

The company could be asked about the background checks and hiring procedures… but I doubt it would make much of a difference. Sure we can all talk big about what should happen and how it should be, but that isn't going to get us anywhere, is it?

Even for tenants and hired domestic help, the procedure is pretty basic (submit photo ID of prospective tenant or domestic help to the nearest police station). Hardly qualifies as an effective background check! So don't say that Uber wasn't following a policy (which should be implemented across the board but in all likelihood, isn't practically possible in the immediate future).

Reality check - Seriously… what background checks are rickshaw pullers/drivers or bus drivers/conductors subjected to?!? How about the employees at the RTO? Do they even have a proper (effective) background check for the personnel at the Passport Seva Kendra (Assurance that they cleared any security / background check would be a far cry. In some instances, one doubts if they are capable of even clearing class 10).

Tou, baat ye hai ke faaltu bakwaas na karo. Uber (the company) being singled out for this is pretty idiotic and I don't see how it helps with this case or helps in dealing with the serious problem.

Here is how MOST governments behave:

We have a problem.
Something must be done.
Here is something (doesn't matter if it solves the issue or not).
Let's do it.

Idiots

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Swiss Banks Tell GoI To Fuck Off

Well ok… not in those exact words (but I wish they did use the exact words).

"

The ambassador said cooperation by Swiss authorities cannot take place on the basis of stolen lists of account holders and would need independent probes by Indian agencies and at least a prima facie proof of tax frauds.

Link

Humne tou pehle hi kahaa tha

There is a way to do things and get things done. Going about it the proper way seems to be a bit too much for the incompetent, inefficient indian mindset to comprehend, let alone accept. Sigh… Hopefully there will be a few who do have the mental capability to understand something this obvious (umeed pe duniya qaayam hai).

Another thing - Just because someone has a Swiss Account or an offshore account, doesn't necessarily imply that the money held in said account is black money or earned through illegal activities. Merely having an offshore account CAN NOT be considered irrefutable proof of corruption or tax evasion. I believe it is important that the idiotic government mouthpieces first clarify this bit to the senseless public. Kuchch seekh lene say mar nahin jaaoge.

The sad part though is… idiots who do not understand ANYTHING about banking or law or anything else, are allowed to comment on articles like this. Here is the comment of one such deluded dumb fuck:

ROTFL.

Modi Favourite To Win 'Time Person Of The Year'

"

Prime Minister Narendra Modi appears favourite to win the 'Time Person of the Year' poll, leading the online voting with a comfortable margin ahead of Ferguson protesters as voting closed for the annual honour.

Link

When I read the headline, I wanted to put up 'Surely… there are people who have contributed (as in… ACTUALLY DONE something) a lot more than Modi to be deserving of a title such as 'Person Of The Year'.

But then I read the article. It states:

"

The annual honour, bestowed by the magazine since 1927, goes to the person who "most influenced the news" during the year "for better or worse."

Yes, that does explain why Modi is a front-runner… but… could it be possible that Modi dominated / influenced the news more than ISIS or Ebola?? Ok - Ebola is a virus, but what about ISIS?

I mean… if the Ferguson protesters are also being considered for the 'annual honour', then why not ISIS? The article does mention - most influenced the news during the year FOR BETTER OR WORSE.

Arrey… sawaal hai. Iss mein gussa hone ki kya baat hai?

Bang Bang

42012280 (1)

It's a pretty shiny, well polished… piece of shit! The plot is mind-numbingly stupid. The entire thing is way too ridiculous. Obviously, when you have something this idiotic in terms of STORY/PLOT - a lot of money will have to be spent on polishing it up.

The makers haven't held back… and it shows. Extremely high production value. Excellent stunts (Crtsy: Andy Armstrong). Everything and everyone looks glossed up.

Just wondering… is it really SO DIFFICULT to come up with a sensible / logical plot? Something that isn't completely idiotic? The makers obviously have the impression that the potential audience is brain-dead (or at least brain-damaged). Judging by the Box Office collections… the makers are spot on with their assumption.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Thank you Pride…

Tum Aaye Ho Na Shab-E-Intazaar Guzari Hai

Faiz Ahmed Faiz…

Tum aaye ho na shab-e-intazaar guzari hai 
Talaash mein hai sahar baar baar guzari hai

Junuun mein jitani bhi guzari bakaar guzari hai 
Agarche dil pe kharaabi hazaar guzari hai

Hui hai hazarat-e-naaseh se guftaguu jiss shab 
Wo shab zaruur sar-e-kuu-e-yaar guzari hai

Wo baat saare fasaane mein jis ka zikr na tha 
Wo baat unko bahut naa-gavaar guzari hai

Na gul khile hain, na unse mile, na mai pi hai 
Ajeeb rang mein ab ke bahaar guzari hai

Chaman mein gaarat-e-gulachin se jaane kya guzari 
Qafas se aaj sabaa beqaraar guzari hai

Casio's 'Kawaii Selfie By Mirror Cam'

"

The "Kawaii Selfie by Mirror Cam" aka Exilim MR1 costs about $330 in Hong Kong and is rather self-explanatory: Its 14-megapixel module is hidden right behind a curved mirror for the convenience of taking selfies, with the trade-off being you get a hilariously slow f/5 aperture due to the light reflection (and that little LED flash really won't help much in the dark). As for the "kawaii" part, you can use the software to enhance your skin tone plus smoothness, and you can even see a live preview on the screen (which obviously isn't so useful when taking those selfies).

Link

People have WAAAAAY too much time on their hands (goes for the makers of this product and also for users).

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

DD News Anchor Issue

This is what went viral in the last week. It is sad, pathetic… and yes, it IS funny.

Now we have certain people / groups damning me (and anyone who laughed and criticised DD and the anchor) for being insensitive bullies. For RUINING this anchor's career. Hmmm.

Then we had this other video:

 

Here is the thing - We have laughed at a lot of politicians. Lots of actors. Lots of film makers. Lots of 'writers'. Criticised a lot of them. Scathing abusive critiques. Unfortunately (for us) and fortunately for them - their careers seem unaffected. If that wasn't the case then Mandira Bedi or Roshni Chopra wouldn't have a career (remember those super idiotic after-match cricket shows?).

Kareena Kapoor, SRK, Aishwarya Rai, Kapil Sibal, Modi, MMS, Rahul Gandhi… All of them (and many more) have been criticised (repeatedly) for making irresponsible / unverified / insensitive / idiotic statements OR putting in horrible hammed performances. Most of them even refuse to acknowledge they made a gaffe! As much as I would have preferred an end to each of those individual's career (in some cases - life), it hasn't happened…

There is absolutely no reason why this girl's (Yes, I can't be bothered to recall her name) entire life should take a dive. If she can't handle criticism, then clearly she is in the wrong line of business / career / profession. Yes. Now I want to criticise her for that.

She may not get any more 'anchoring' jobs from DD, but that doesn't mean she won't be getting any jobs at all. I just hope that next time, she does INSIST on proper rehearsals and preparations.

Technical failure bit, well that's just bad luck. Shit happens. And evidently a LOT OF shit happens at Doordarshan. If she wants appreciation or concession for handling the situation, in spite of a technical glitch… well it would be coming if she had handled the situation WELL. Anyone who has seen the clip will agree that, this isn't applicable in her case.

Itna tension lene waali kya baat hai? Chill yaar… ab news bloopers (especially Live News Fails) pe bhi na hasen? Bas kya?!

Ranjit Sinha Can Hopefully Get SOME Peace Of Mind, Now

"

"I am not going to say anything. I have done no good work. Write what you want to write. Enough dirt has been thrown upon me," he shot back at reporters who had asked him to sum up his tenure in CBI.

Link

I genuinely feel bad for this guy. Hope he gets a well deserved break from the idiotic media and over-enthusiastic courts / lawyers.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Shakespeare 'Controversy'

"

The sexuality of William Shakespeare has once again been called into question by leading scholars, it has been reported.

Link

My question - Why should it matter?

Would his body of work be considered any less OR more praiseworthy? Any less OR more literary? Any less OR more impressive? Any less OR more inspiring?

Dikhaawon pe mat jaao… apni akal ladaao.

The November Man

Idiotic film. Waste of time.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Vehicles Older Than 15 Years Won't Be Allowed In Delhi, Says Green Court

"

"All vehicles, diesel or petrol, which are more than 15 years old, shall not be permitted to ply on the roads.  This direction would be applicable to all vehicles without exception i.e. two wheelers, three wheelers, four wheelers, light vehicles and heavy vehicles irrespective of whether commercial or otherwise," the bench said.

Link

ROTFL. Implement kar ke dikhaao tou maane.

The only way this will work - If the court / administration sets the implementation time-table / schedule / deadline to be 15-20 Years from now.

Stupidity Of The Central Government Continues

"

The government said in court today that these students will immediately be taught - and tested on - a beginners' or entry-level course in Sanskrit, and will therefore not be at a disadvantage since they will not be expected to demonstrate proficiency in the language.

Link

For those of you who are not familiar with the issue - Smriti Kutti Stupid Randi Jaahil Irani said the KV's (all over India) teaching German will have to stop the course and teach Sanskrit instead [Link].

The KV's opposed it and so did the parents. They were told to shut up (even when they pointed out that switching this in between the academic year was idiotic and would give kids a tough time, especially the ones who have been studying German in previous years and now will have to give a Sanskrit exam). It was said that German could NOT be taught as a third language and will have to be taught as 'hobby' course if the KV's are interested.

Seems like the Central Government is sticking by it's stupid HRD Minister's idiotic view and now the assholes are saying students will be taught Sanskrit IMMEDIATELY and tested on entry-level. Funny how they did not consider this idea for the CSAT issue - where this approach was actually applicable!

More Nonsense On The Black Money Issue

Link

No they have NOT. There is a significant difference between having a Foreign Bank Account and having Black Money. Those accounts may just be the types that are provided exemption under various directions issued by the RBI. It is premature to state that those accounts have Black Money without an actual investigation. What you have is a list of Indians with foreign bank accounts (that too from just a few foreign banks).

Dikhaawon pe mat jaao… apni akal ladaao.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Thank you Pride…

Interesting

"

On the eve of the sixth anniversary of the Mumbai terror attacks, the government on Tuesday said that the overall coastal and maritime security along the entire coast is "much stronger than before" as several steps have been taken in this regard.

"At any given time, the entire west coast is under continuous surveillance by ships and aircraft of the Navy and Coast Guard", an official statement released late on Tuesday evening said.

… It added, that since 2008, coastal and maritime security has been strengthened substantially by "successful" implementation of technical, organisational and procedural initiatives by all maritime security agencies.

… After the 26/11 attacks in Mumbai in 2008, several measures were announced by the government to strengthen coastal and maritime security along the entire coast. "Due to the coordinated efforts of all concerned, all these measures are now in place and overall maritime security is much stronger than before," the statement said.

Coastal patrolling by Navy, Coast Guard and marine police has increased sharply over the last few years. "As a result, potential threats have been detected and actions have been taken to mitigate them in good time," the statement said.

Coordination between nearly 15 national and state agencies has improved dramatically due to regular "exercises" conducted by the Navy in all coastal states, the statement said. Nationwide, over 100 such exercises have been conducted till date since 2008, it added.

Link

Interesting.

I do have a question though. Were all of the 'several steps' - mentioned by the government in the official statement, taken after 16-05-2014?

[Sarcasm]

No?! How come!!? The infallible PM Modi had said that NOTHING in the past 60 years, the Congress has done nothing. Then how can his government issue an official statement stating that things have actually improved on ANY front? Nahin!!! Ye kya hogaya?! Did someone contradict the great PM Modi?! Itni jurrat!

Perhaps a Modi stooge spokesperson should clarify that all credit should go to the Navy and NOT to the THEN government. Making it clear that the official statement used the reference 'government' in general terms and people interpreting it as the previous government are obviously misconstruing the remarks.

[/Sarcasm]

A suggestion - Modi and the rest of his BJP minions (literate or otherwise) should realise that they are no longer the opposition party and therefore no longer need to resort to bashing the Congress on every podium.

What is however interesting to note is that TOI has reported on the state of security as well - Tighter security not in place even six years after 26/11 terror attacks in Mumbai

Rinbw

"

rinbw allows you to view the status of any of your friends in your phonebook as 5 second video clips. With rinbw, you can see your friends’ status before calling or texting them.

  • Show some love. To let your friends know that you dig their clip, simply double-tap your screen to "Fruit" them. You’ll never guess how much people love bananas.
  • Be inspired. Film your live status as many times as you wish during the day. Excited about your new pair of socks? Showcase those bad boys.
  • Get creative. Jump, slide, and get weird! Your friends will be automatically notified that you updated your clip (and your style). Your phonebook is not just names and numbers anymore - your phonebook is alive.

Link

So what does it do? Well it replaces the contact pictures in your contact list with 5 second video clips (that those contacts have uploaded). Obviously that also means that every time you update your own clip, your friends (with Rinbw installed) get notified. Also, every time someone sees your 'latest' clip, they can 'fruit' it (equivalent to like it and you get notified).

In simpler words… waile log!

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Another Pointless Issue – Coming Soon

How long do you think it will be before the Super Sensitive Saffron Sevaks / Sainiks / Sangh get offended by this shit track?

That said, I too would like to see this song taken off the channels, but it has nothing to do with the fragile religious sentiments of the majority. I want it off the tele simply because it’s a shit song.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Each of us wages a private battle each day between the grand fantasies we have for ourselves and what actually happens.

- Cathy Guisewite

Typos Now In Headlines

 

Proof kar liya karo, kutton - Disinherited BY mom hona chahiye!

I am sure no partner at Amarchand & Mangaldas  & Suresh A Shroff & Co. has disinherited Swati Deshpande's mom from anything. Jahaalat ki bhi hadh hoti hai.


Update: They fixed it (*note to self - ALWAYS take screenshots):

1

MOI Website Registration

Just registered for the online services. Not bad at all. Single log in.

Now waiting for visa renewal (for dependents) to be made online.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Qurbaton Mein Bhi Judaai Ke Zamaane Maange

Ahmed Faraz...

Qurbaton mein bhi judaai ke zamaane maange
Dil vo bemehar ki rone ke bahaane maange

Apna ye haal ke jee haar chuke lut bhi chuke
Aur muhabbat vahi andaaz puraane maange

Hum na hote tou kissi aur ke charche hote
Khalqat-e-shahar to kahne ko fasaane maange

Dil kissi haal pe maane hi nahin jaan-e-'Faraz'
Mil gaye tum bhi to kya aur na jaane maange

Ha!

Link

The title of this 'article' is Jaw-Dropping Statements Made by Indian Politicians. Firstly, Ranjit Sinha CAN NOT be included in the list because he is NOT a politician. Furthermore, Ranjit Sinha SHOULD NOT be in that list because that 'quote' has been taken completely out of context.

Obviously, these things don't matter to the idiotic employees at TNN. Plenty of other names that merit a place in that list. Here are some that should be included:

Giriraj Singh:

Yogi Adityanath:

Subramanian Swami:

Any thoughts on why these idiotic quotes made by these imbeciles politicians did not make the cut off list in that article?

Thanks Pride…

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what's right.

Isaac Asimov

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Dracula Untold

I actually liked this film (barring three absolutely rubbish sequences). The visuals were brilliant!

Although a romantic / emotional angle of the Dracula story is depicted in the film, it really isn't as annoying as the Twilight bullshit.

Charles Dance - Small role but nicely done.

Luke Evans - Not bad at all.

Mirena's chit chat session with Vlad in the tent (the time when he rips off the tent to let the sunlight in) - I just found that entire exchange rather idiotic.

Another disappointing bit of the film was the fight sequence between Mehmet and Vlad. Didn't pack much of a punch when compared to the other battle sequences which were an absolute treat to watch.

The most disappointing part would have to be the way Vlad decided to deal with the other vampires who demanded the death of Ingeras.

He could just use his powers to unblock the sun, killing the vampires (which he eventually did anyway - AFTER Ingeras was taken away by the sissy monk). Vlad could have still kept himself alive with the magic hand waving from inside a tent or just kept the shield of bats blocking the sun over himself while killing all the other vampires

Why would he want to give away his son after all this killing? He could still be with his son. Wasn't that the whole point to begin with?

That entire sequence - from the vampires approaching to kill Ingeras, to Vlad hoisting up one vampire, to the monk holding up the cross, keeping the vampires away and taking Ingeras away, to Vlad waving his hand and disintegrating all the vampires - STUPID! Ruined the entire film for me.

The final sequence of the film… nice! I am not sure if it was the poem that made me like it or Mina's haircut / eyes. Undecided.

BlackBerry Classic - Pre Order

Link

Left Behind

Disappointing.

Nicky Wheelan looked great as a stewardess.

I do recall reading a book years ago with the exact same plot and it wasn't half as lame as this shit film.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

50,000 Or 100,000 ?

Who got it wrong?

 

OR

Idiotic TOI Readers

"

"The directorate general of civil aviation (DGCA) was to conduct an evacuation exercise of the ambani ACJ on Tuesday to see if the crew can safely lead its occupants out in the required time in case of an emergency. Reliance Commercial Developers Pvt Ltd (RCDL), which operates this plane, was practising for the upcoming safety drill. The pilots have told us that they switched on the emergency May Day switch inadvertently and broadcast their practise message to us, which they are not supposed to do during drills," said an official.

Link

If you read the article, you will probably realise that the ownership details or the gift bit about the jet are irrelevant. But… that's NOT the worst part about this story.

Clearly the pilots goofed up and they are the ones to be blamed for this. However, some idiots reading TOI feel this is AMBANI's fault. As per the comments, Mukesh Ambani is personally responsible for the fuck up of the pilots. Take a look at the comments (I put up screenshots with the address bar just to highlight that the comments are on the same article):

 

Sigh… What a jealous lot! Neech zaat. Chotte logon ki chotti soch. Issiliye ye log humesha chotte hi rahenge.

Padhe likhe jaahil OR as amitk2070 would say - 'The literate and the dumb' (*rolls eyes).

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forget their use.

Galileo Galilei

'AAYUSH' Ministry

"

Yoga and Ayurveda not only have a global fan following, they also have a ministry of their own now, after the expansion of Prime Minister Narendra Modi-led Council of Ministers on Sunday.

India now has a dedicated ministry for the promotion of traditional medicine and yoga called AAYUSH, which was earlier part of the Health Ministry. The acronym stands for Ayurveda, yoga, naturopathy, Unani, Siddha and homeopathy.

Link

Firstly why is it being reported with two A's? Does the first A stand for Ainwayi? Also, where is the N for naturopathy?! That said, how is this in line with reducing wasteful expenditure in government? How is this in line with the Minimum Government tagline?

More importantly, why the FUCK does Modi need a dedicated ministry for this? What was wrong in letting this continue as a part of the Health Ministry?

Like it wasn't bad enough that he made Giriraj Singh a minister (just to name one of the many undeserving idiots given positions in the recent expansion / shuffle).

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

AMU Library Issue

 

For those who are not aware of the story: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/agra/Girls-in-AMU-library-will-attract-boys-VC/articleshow/45101345.cms?

My views:

Turning down the demand of students of Women's College, Aligarh Muslim University, for access to the varsity's Maulana Azad Library, vice chancellor Lt Gen Zameer Uddin Shah has said there would be "four times more boys" in the library if girls were allowed in. "The issue is not of discipline, but of space. Our library is packed," the VC said, justifying why the girls were not allowed membership.

That's idiotic. The VC mouthing that makes him sound even more idiotic. That statement makes it abundantly clear that one should not expect any support from Lt Gen Zameer on resolving this particular issue.

Women's College principal Naima Gulrez, echoed the VC's views. Addressing the audience on Monday during the oath-taking ceremony of the new students' union, she said, "We understand the demand for access to the library. But have you girls ever seen the library? It is jam-packed with boys. If girls too were to be present in it, the discipline issue might crop up."

That statement in conjunction with what the VC said makes it obvious that THERE IS NO PROBLEM. Girls being there with the boys would lead to discipline issues? What 'discipline issues' are the VC and Principal referring to? They think the girls and boys will chit chat in the library, disturbing other readers? Exchange fashion tips and recipes? Could these really be the concerns of the authority? No way. Perhaps something more serious.

Why assume that just with the presence of girls, the boys would transform into rapist hounds? OR the girls would turn into nympho-sluts and insist on a gangbang just because they are in the presence of boys? Galat baat.

For the sake of argument, let's assume that there are actually space issues in a library that can seat 1,300 readers at a time. Let's further assume that because of the space constraints, putting up a partition or having a separate women's section is not feasible. Implying that there is no effective way to distance the prey from the hunter girls from the boys.

Further let's also assume that if the girls and boys are brought in such proximity, then it would result in cancerous replication / production / stimulation of their hormones eventually leading to a sex orgy in the library (in addition to eve-teasing, cat-calls, groping, raping and gangbangs).

Now read this - You could always set aside different times of the day to accommodate the readers. You could do it class wise or year wise or … even gender wise (Look at that? What a miracle. Just stumbled upon a solution. Just like that…. OMG)! Surprising this never crossed anyone's mind. If that seems like an overkill, then just set aside days of the week!?

I am not in favour of segregation but if one were to assume that space constraints and 'discipline' ARE ACTUALLY the only issues, then they can very easily be resolved (if anyone is genuinely interested in resolving it). Just saying.

Dikhaawon pe mat jaao. Apni akal ladaao.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

The Expendables 3

The film - Usual stuff.

Antonio Banderas - Best part of the film. Funny guy.

Constantine

Started watching this new series.

Definitely over the top, but that was expected. The arrogance of John Constantine (Matt Ryan), although entertaining - doesn't seem justified (to me).

The first two episodes were watchable. Enjoyable as well (at times).

Episode 3 - The Devil's Vinyl - 'Disappointing' would be an understatement. Towards the end, it just got ridiculous. To have a contract (with the devil) nullified i.e. - Whatever you sold your soul for will be taken back, and your soul is no longer collateral/indebted to the devil - the 'soul-broker' (who brokered the initial deal) has to EAT the signed contract (literally) and this act (of eating and swallowing the contract) will nullify the contract.

*Rolls eyes.

Too much nonsense for me - Thank you very much, won't be continuing with this one.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Preet

Thanks Fakhry…

 

Sonam looks horrible as usual, but the song is good.

Simple song, good music. Haunting even. One of those rare moments where everything seems to just fall into place.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Corroboration?

 

Link

Inspiring or whatever you want to call it, what is to be noted is that the article doesn't cite any corroboration.

Don't want to sound like an insensitive prick (although I am one), but in light of recent events (P.V Arun bullshit), it would make sense if reporters would cite some references other than the family and friends of the person they are praising.

Please note, I am not saying that this story too is made up shit. I am merely stating that when publishing an article, it should be mentioned that the story has been corroborated / verified / substantiated OR not.


For those of you not familiar with the P.V Arun bullshit (I found out only recently. Thanks Surya), here it is:

17-09-2012 - The Hindu - In search of extraterrestrial life  - A boy from Kerala will soon be joining those elite scientists in their search for the existence of extraterrestrial life, working from his own workstation at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), U.S.

P.V. Arun is thrilled at being accepted as a research scientist at NASA as he spoke to The Hindu about his achievements on the sidelines of a felicitation programme organised by the Institute of Human Resources Development here on Tuesday. An alumnus of the College of Engineering, Poonjar, under the IHRD, he has secured admission to a research programme at the renowned Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), U.S. He will be joining as a research scientist at the NASA to explore, in his own words “extraterrestrial elements with the use of remote sensing.”

19-09-2012 - Indian Express - His dreams make a contact with ETs - It is a much-coveted achievement anyone could dream of, but few can reach. At the young age of 25, Arun P V is all smiles, for he has materialised the biggest of his dreams, an admission to the Research Programme at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) as a foreign scholar, and a placement at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) in the US as a research scientist.

07-10-2014 - Telegraph - Patriot Nasa boy turns hero - A young Nasa researcher from Kerala whose patriotic stand had prompted the US space agency to relax a citizenship rule was surprised to find himself the toast of New Delhi during a visit last month.

Arun’s Nasa assignment required him to accept American citizenship at a later date. Since that would have meant losing his Indian nationality, Arun declined.

True to its professionalism, Nasa realised his worth, acknowledged his concerns and took him on board without pressing the citizenship clause. It could not be confirmed whether Nasa had made a similar concession for anyone else before.

30-10-2014 - Deccan Chronicle - Police, family confirm ‘NASA’ fraud - The police has confirmed that claims made by Arun P V that the US space research agency, NASA, had relaxed a citizenship rule for giving him a job were fake. After verifying Arun's documents and passport, police found that Arun has no connection with NASA.

30-10-2014 - Telegraph - Report on youth unsubstantiated - Doubts have been expressed about the authenticity of a claim by a Kerala youth that Nasa, inspired by his patriotism, had relaxed appointment rules for him.

…Since then, reports have emerged that doubted the claim of the youth who has not been able to substantiate his version with documentary proof till now. A reader also wrote to this newspaper, pointing out that the information in the report could not be verified.

Subsequent inquiries have been unable to find evidence that establishes Arun was associated with the US space agency. Kerala police had also conducted independent inquiries and concluded that the claims of Arun appeared to be unfounded.

Under the circumstances and in the absence of documentary proof, The Telegraph is constrained to classify the contents of the report as unverified and unsubstantiated.

This newspaper had published the report after speaking to the youth who requested that he be not quoted. But the information was not verified with either Nasa or the other persons mentioned in the report — a mistake that goes against established journalistic norms.

Complicated To Understand?!?

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/listshow/45019253.cms

Bindisha Sarang thinks there is nothing as complicated to understand as a credit card (in the context of financial products). Strong statement there. I wonder what Bindisha's opinion is about algebra. Heard of it, Bindisha? How about basic arithmetic? Too much for your stupid brain?

Here is the thing - If you can't understand how a credit card works / how the billing cycle works / how the charges and interest works - THEN… you should NOT have one. Simple enough?

Of course, if it were up to me - then you (and idiots like you with shit for brains) wouldn't be eligible to make any decision / transaction that involved cash or cash equivalents. You wouldn't be eligible to even open a bank account, let alone have access to a credit card. Most definitely you wouldn't be allowed to pen such articles. Sadly… it isn't up to me.

It's not a crime to be dumb (Personally, I think it should be but…). Just because YOU are dumb, doesn't necessarily mean that the instrument / concept (in this case - The Credit Card) is MOST complicated or even TOO complicated. It is complicated FOR YOU. That is NOT the same as the product itself being too complicated.

Here is what you can do - Get yourself a proper education and try to develop some common sense. Until then, stay away from Credit Cards (and drafting articles).

Idiotic Song

The track is titled 'Ishq Kutta Hai'.

A while back there was the Ishq Kameena track. By logical deduction, there will soon be a track titled Ishq Haraami - assuming there isn't one already (*rolls eyes).

Yaar, koi zabardasti tou nahin hai ke gaana likhna hi padega. If you can't come up with sensible lyrics, then just leave it at the beats/tune. Make it a trance/dance track with just the beats. Aise ghatiya lyrics kyon likh rahe ho?!?

Shaikh Saahab Se Rasm-O-Raah Na Ki

Faiz Ahmed Faiz…

Shaikh saahab se rasm-o-raah na ki
Shukr hai zindagi tabaah na ki

Tujh ko dekha tou ser-e-chashm hue
Tujh ko chaaha tou aur chaah na ki

Tere dast-e-sitam ka ajz nahin
Dil hi kaafir tha jiss ne aah na ki

The shab-e-hijr kaam aur bahut
Hum ne fikr-e-dil-e-tabaah na ki

Kaun qaatil bachcha hai shahar mein 'faiz'
Jiss se yaaron ne rasm-o-raah na ki

Friday, October 31, 2014

Knock People Off Train Roofs

Excellent! They should have this in India. Kaafi problems solve ho jaayengi.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

- Carl Sagan

'Have Information? Mail Us,' Says Special Investigation Team

"

The Special Investigation Team or SIT set up by the Supreme Court to monitor the probe into untaxed or black money stashed in foreign bank accounts has invited information from the public.

Link

ROTFL

This is beyond ridiculous. Excellent opportunity for the jealous lot to vent out their frustration, though.

One more time - The right way to go about this is to first establish that an individual or an organisation has engaged in some activity that can be termed illegal. Once that is verified and validated, only then can the courts / government / respective agencies launch an investigation into tracking the money - Like in the Timblo Case - part of which has already been judged and fine has been paid. Illegal activity was first established and then the money was traced. When faced with investigations, Timblo admitted to the violation and settled by paying the penalty.

Inviting 'information' from the public is just going to make this issue unmanageable / laughable / idiotic and even more pointless than it already is.

Dikhaawon pe mat jaao… Apni akal ladaao.

Lekin akal ka tou akaal padha hua hai…. Sigh.

Thanks Pride… Love this one.

NOW BJP Wants To Caution CAG? Waah!

"

Addressing the annual conference of the CAG, Mr Jailtey said, "An auditor should be conscious that he is reviewing a decision which has already been taken. He doesn't need to sensationalise. He has to be an effective auditor, but activism and restraint are always the two sides of the same coin."

On Monday, Public Accounts Committee or PAC Chairman K V Thomas addressing the auditors had asked the CAG to restrict audits to financial impropriety and refrain from generating "astronomical figures of notional losses".

But his caution in a way echoed the congress reaction to the two crucial CAG reports - spectrum allocation and coal blocks allocation. Interestingly, the two reports were used by Mr Jaitley's party since 2009 - while in opposition - to target the UPA regime with charges of "integrity deficit" and "crony capitalism".

Link

Tum karo tou fashion… hum karen tou pesha?

I agree with the views expressed by Thomas and Jaitley (in this context, at this conference). I also agreed when the exact same opinions were voiced by Sibal and Chidambaram! I have always maintained that the obscene amount of PERCEIVED losses was reported with the sole intent to sensationalise the issue.

To this day, everyone with a functional brain (capable of intelligent thought) maintains that the ridiculous numbers reported for the spectrum allocation or even for the black-money issue are unrealistic.

The politicians who criticised the UPA for its statements are now using the exact same arguments - That's totally fine and understandable. I mean, they are now in power and such flip flops are obvious. What I do have an issue with is the general (voting) public and the media. There is a huge difference in the way they are reacting and reporting to these statements/arguments now that the BJP is using them.

Itna bias?

Sigh… Chaar din ki chaandani, phir andheri raat hai

Thanks Pride…

 

 

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

War On Terror - Who Is Winning?

"

An American Airlines flight from Los Angeles International Airport to London was delayed Sunday after concerns over the name of a WiFi hotspot.

A passenger saw the WiFi connection, named "Al-Quida Free Terror Nettwork," and expressed concern to a flight attendant.

The plane was held at a remote part of the airport for three hours and passengers were told to turn off their electronic devices. Passengers said they were initially told that it was a maintenance issue.


Link

'Expressed concern'!? What is there to express concern? You actually think that a terrorist who got into the country (or on a plane) using very well forged ID's, tricked the security scanners and the annoying TSA, carrying potentially explosive substances - IS STUPID ENOUGH to have his device / hotspot named with something that obvious (and not even disable SSID)???

It would seem that the terrorists should be the ones screaming 'Mission Accomplished'. Now they don't even have to do anything to terrorise the population. Enough paranoid hysterical idiots in this world who have shit for brains!

Monday, October 27, 2014

Wichita Police Release Sketch Of Suspect In Marijuana Heist


In case the above video didn't make sense, here is a more detailed coverage of the 'story'

Anybody else think that we should have a reality show for dumbest cops / intelligence agencies?

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Happy New Year

What I hated about watching this film (the most) has absolutely nothing to do with the film. In Kuwait cinemas, all of Deepika's dance routines were cut off. Basically, the only chance of me being able to enjoy this film (at least a bit) was shot down by the KNCC.

The only GOOD part about the film was Jackie dada, who looked amazing in those suits / get up. Suits him.

Lots of 'inspired' moments in the film, and that just makes me roll my eyes. Bas karo yaar. Seriously, bahut hogaya. They couldn't even do the spoof bits of their own films properly in this one. The film has exceptionally high production value and it shows where they have spent the money. But the film / plot / performances (apart from the negligible screen time allotted to Jackie) are CHEAP.

Many will insist it was intentional / by design and that's what the makers wanted to show. Watching this 'film', it is pretty obvious that this is another one of those masti ideas the makers had over a drink-session where they said 'let's see how much nonsense crap we can get away with this time' and they made a vacation trip out of it as well. If you want to see how to portray a ghaati character in a classy way, please watch how RGV has shot Aamir Khan in Rangeela.

SRK is easily ignored in this one.

This is probably the first time that Sonu Sood has managed to look bad (when without shades, it just looks like the guy has an eye infection or something).

Abhishek Bachchan is his usual cheap self. I don't understand why he always gets such pathetic roles. He is bad, but surely no one can be THAT bad that he never gets offered a different character to play!

Vivaan Shah's character is… well let's just say half-baked would be a generous compliment. This is a good actor who has been wasted in this glossed-over pile of stinking shit. Sad.

Dance Like A Chammiya song - I get the point, but I don't understand why it had to be so OTT. It was in bad taste.

Nonsense Ki Night song - This was the makers being obvious about the film being another attempt to shower shit on the audience, convinced that the audience will lap it up anyway (which the audience clearly did).

The entire Maa ke baare mein kuchch mat Kehna about Jag was ridiculous, unnecessary and only included for cheap laughs. Same goes for the bit about Tammy's bag holding an entire super-market. Given all the screen-time spent on these cheap laughs, wouldn't it be better to just put in a sentence or two establishing Rohan's rep / credentials as a hacker? Taking control of a DJ's console isn't exactly indicative of his ability to hack and manipulate security feeds or electronic voting systems or laser shields.

Don't even get me started on the bullet proof glass safe. In fact, the entire sequence inside the vault room is laughable.

The film was just one nonsense clip after another, thrown in and mixed up by the makers who are fully aware that majority of the audience comprises of absolute idiots who will clap even if SRK is jangling a set of keys on the screen for 3 hours screaming 'look at the shiny shiny'.

Thoda tou class rakho yaar. Kab tak kachchra banaate rahoge? Masala film banaani hai tou Dabang jaisi banaao na yaar. Ye… ye kya cheap chichore-baazi karte rehte ho!

Some Sense Of Proportion… Please

Link

"

Digvijay Singh - "It is a very small thing and for anyone else it wouldn't have mattered...for the transport minister of the government of India, who is violating the law which he had to be enforcing, then it does make a difference," he said. "This reflects the attitude of the leader and the party, whether they believe in following the rules or not."

Yes - It looks bad when the Transport Minister is caught breaking the law. Agreed.

Here is what you do. You invite the press and show them that the Minister was issued a citation for the offence and then show the receipt confirming that the Minister paid the fine. Party members and Press/PR officers to make sure that the Minister is not photographed smiling while receiving the ticket or paying the fine. Baat khatam. Publicity bhi ho jaayegi.

What it doesn't call for is STRONG REACTIONS from the public or from the opposition. Seriously yaar… have you been to India? There are bigger and better and more important things to be making an issue of.

Dikhaawon pe mat jaao. Apni akal ladaao.

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