Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Test Yourself For STD’s On Your SmartPhone!


People who suspect they have been infected will be able to put urine or saliva on to a computer chip about the size of a USB chip, plug it into their phone or computer and receive a diagnosis within minutes, telling them which, if any, sexually transmitted infection (STI) they have.

Seven funders, including the Medical Research Council, have put £4m into developing the technology via a forum called the UK Clinical Research Collaboration.


I am all for technology and even more for privacy and all that but… 4 million GBP on THIS! Fucking waste. There has to be a better way to use that money!

Wonder how the women are going to react to this. I mean peeing on a stick was bad enough, now the women are just going to be ticked off when they have to pee on a CHIP? (you don’t suppose it’s just the men who can get STD, do you??)

BTW, would you want to continue using the same phone after you have had your piss swirling across it’s motherboard/chipset?

Wonder how they are going to advertise for this? Picture this - Guy and girl on a date in a fancy restaurant. Having a good time and so far everything has gone fine. Then the girl says:

I would like to take this to the next level…. Could you pee on my phone?

Screen fades to black. White text appears with the teleshopping voice over:

It’s that easy. Be Safe .. not sorry. Carry your smartphone with you. We suggest at least two handsets, for hygiene purposes.

Message issued in the interest of public awareness by the UK Clinical Research Collaboration.

Psst – yes yes, I do know the article says you can use saliva as well - but it just wouldn’t be as funny, now would it? Oh come on - Could you pee on my phone is a lot funnier than Spit on my laptop

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