Thursday, February 7, 2008

Live-in OR Marriage - The discussion continues

marriage-marriage-b0000evwxk For any relationship to work one has to put an effort - be it Live-in or Marriage.

Some individuals think that people don't put in an effort - or as much an effort for a live-in. Well that is their view - Cool.

I look at it this way:

  • If two people want to make a relationship work, they will put in an effort - be it Live-in or a Marriage.
  • If one of them is not interested in making it work -s/he won't put in an effort - be it Live-in or a Marriage.

In the "Live-in OR Marriage" argument, I give more importance to the individuals in question as opposed to the institution or arrangement that they chose. (There are people who give more importance to the arrangement/the set-up and conveniently ignore the human factor - While discussing at least).

And that means (in my view) - if two people want to make it work, there is no binding or no necessity that they should marry. If they are willing to make it work - marriage or no marriage - is NOT going to change the fact that they will try to make it work.They may marry if they want to, but if they choose not to - there is nothing wrong with it either.

I am not saying marriage is wrong/bad. All I am saying is that it is not a necessity. Which is my opinion. Everyone is entitled to an opinion.I am not saying marriages don't work. I am just saying marriage should not be viewed as a necessity.

Things can go wrong in a marriage, things can go wrong in a live-in too. The chances of that happening are dependent on the individuals involved and NOT on the choice between marriage or Live-in (which some people seem to forget when they are discussing the topic).

The same way, I don't think it is imperative to go to church or temple or whatever to show that you have faith or to pray. You can do that anywhere. That doesn't mean that I think going to a church or temple or whatever is wrong/bad. There are people who would like to do it that way, and there are people who wouldn't want to do it that way.

It is a choice, NOT a necessity.

Am I opposed to marriage? hmm - I prefer a Live-in. BUT - if I were to be in love with someone - want to spend my life with- AND IF SHE INSISTS that she will be with me only if we get married, then of course I would make the choice to marry her (definitely after first sharing my view - on the subject, with her).

My point is, if you do ANYTHING, with the view that you have to do it, well it is not going to turn out as good as it would've if you had made a CHOICE to do it.

Someone I know (Thank you Pride) - shared an interesting point which I would like to quote here:


marriage or live in is a choice every couple makes,and either does not guarantee fidelity or doesn't make one relationship better than the other..........

both kinds require a lot of work,in fact i feel live ins work harder at keeping it going because there is no force or compulsion to stay together yet its a choice they make and continue

2 Opinions:

Agnel said...

I am not gonna accept what you said. Your opinions are yours, mine is mine.

Alright, The reason why marriage is important is, to have a bond. Something which keeps 2 ppl together inspite of all that happens between them. Breaking the marriage is gonna happen at the worst case when one can't go on. But, marriage helps in keeping them together.

Live in, the concept itself isn't that clear to me. Like you said, it is much harder than marriage since one has to try that one step harder to keep it running. But then, one always has the option of breaking up. Which eventually happens in most of live-in relationships.

Btw, pls note, i am not against live-in.

The concept is kinda clear, people who appreciate and profess live-in should not try to marry someone who doesn't approve it. Unless these 2 groups of ppl don't get into a relationship, life is well for all.

Good day! :D
Sorry for yapping :P

L o r d R a j said...

Thanks for the comments Agnel.

Opinions vary, not only is that normal, it is actually better. If everyone had the same opinion, then we really wouldn't have much to talk about, now would we :)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.