Sunday, November 30, 2014

Shakespeare 'Controversy'

"

The sexuality of William Shakespeare has once again been called into question by leading scholars, it has been reported.

Link

My question - Why should it matter?

Would his body of work be considered any less OR more praiseworthy? Any less OR more literary? Any less OR more impressive? Any less OR more inspiring?

Dikhaawon pe mat jaao… apni akal ladaao.

The November Man

Idiotic film. Waste of time.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Vehicles Older Than 15 Years Won't Be Allowed In Delhi, Says Green Court

"

"All vehicles, diesel or petrol, which are more than 15 years old, shall not be permitted to ply on the roads.  This direction would be applicable to all vehicles without exception i.e. two wheelers, three wheelers, four wheelers, light vehicles and heavy vehicles irrespective of whether commercial or otherwise," the bench said.

Link

ROTFL. Implement kar ke dikhaao tou maane.

The only way this will work - If the court / administration sets the implementation time-table / schedule / deadline to be 15-20 Years from now.

Stupidity Of The Central Government Continues

"

The government said in court today that these students will immediately be taught - and tested on - a beginners' or entry-level course in Sanskrit, and will therefore not be at a disadvantage since they will not be expected to demonstrate proficiency in the language.

Link

For those of you who are not familiar with the issue - Smriti Kutti Stupid Randi Jaahil Irani said the KV's (all over India) teaching German will have to stop the course and teach Sanskrit instead [Link].

The KV's opposed it and so did the parents. They were told to shut up (even when they pointed out that switching this in between the academic year was idiotic and would give kids a tough time, especially the ones who have been studying German in previous years and now will have to give a Sanskrit exam). It was said that German could NOT be taught as a third language and will have to be taught as 'hobby' course if the KV's are interested.

Seems like the Central Government is sticking by it's stupid HRD Minister's idiotic view and now the assholes are saying students will be taught Sanskrit IMMEDIATELY and tested on entry-level. Funny how they did not consider this idea for the CSAT issue - where this approach was actually applicable!

More Nonsense On The Black Money Issue

Link

No they have NOT. There is a significant difference between having a Foreign Bank Account and having Black Money. Those accounts may just be the types that are provided exemption under various directions issued by the RBI. It is premature to state that those accounts have Black Money without an actual investigation. What you have is a list of Indians with foreign bank accounts (that too from just a few foreign banks).

Dikhaawon pe mat jaao… apni akal ladaao.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Thank you Pride…

Interesting

"

On the eve of the sixth anniversary of the Mumbai terror attacks, the government on Tuesday said that the overall coastal and maritime security along the entire coast is "much stronger than before" as several steps have been taken in this regard.

"At any given time, the entire west coast is under continuous surveillance by ships and aircraft of the Navy and Coast Guard", an official statement released late on Tuesday evening said.

… It added, that since 2008, coastal and maritime security has been strengthened substantially by "successful" implementation of technical, organisational and procedural initiatives by all maritime security agencies.

… After the 26/11 attacks in Mumbai in 2008, several measures were announced by the government to strengthen coastal and maritime security along the entire coast. "Due to the coordinated efforts of all concerned, all these measures are now in place and overall maritime security is much stronger than before," the statement said.

Coastal patrolling by Navy, Coast Guard and marine police has increased sharply over the last few years. "As a result, potential threats have been detected and actions have been taken to mitigate them in good time," the statement said.

Coordination between nearly 15 national and state agencies has improved dramatically due to regular "exercises" conducted by the Navy in all coastal states, the statement said. Nationwide, over 100 such exercises have been conducted till date since 2008, it added.

Link

Interesting.

I do have a question though. Were all of the 'several steps' - mentioned by the government in the official statement, taken after 16-05-2014?

[Sarcasm]

No?! How come!!? The infallible PM Modi had said that NOTHING in the past 60 years, the Congress has done nothing. Then how can his government issue an official statement stating that things have actually improved on ANY front? Nahin!!! Ye kya hogaya?! Did someone contradict the great PM Modi?! Itni jurrat!

Perhaps a Modi stooge spokesperson should clarify that all credit should go to the Navy and NOT to the THEN government. Making it clear that the official statement used the reference 'government' in general terms and people interpreting it as the previous government are obviously misconstruing the remarks.

[/Sarcasm]

A suggestion - Modi and the rest of his BJP minions (literate or otherwise) should realise that they are no longer the opposition party and therefore no longer need to resort to bashing the Congress on every podium.

What is however interesting to note is that TOI has reported on the state of security as well - Tighter security not in place even six years after 26/11 terror attacks in Mumbai

Rinbw

"

rinbw allows you to view the status of any of your friends in your phonebook as 5 second video clips. With rinbw, you can see your friends’ status before calling or texting them.

  • Show some love. To let your friends know that you dig their clip, simply double-tap your screen to "Fruit" them. You’ll never guess how much people love bananas.
  • Be inspired. Film your live status as many times as you wish during the day. Excited about your new pair of socks? Showcase those bad boys.
  • Get creative. Jump, slide, and get weird! Your friends will be automatically notified that you updated your clip (and your style). Your phonebook is not just names and numbers anymore - your phonebook is alive.

Link

So what does it do? Well it replaces the contact pictures in your contact list with 5 second video clips (that those contacts have uploaded). Obviously that also means that every time you update your own clip, your friends (with Rinbw installed) get notified. Also, every time someone sees your 'latest' clip, they can 'fruit' it (equivalent to like it and you get notified).

In simpler words… waile log!

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Another Pointless Issue – Coming Soon

How long do you think it will be before the Super Sensitive Saffron Sevaks / Sainiks / Sangh get offended by this shit track?

That said, I too would like to see this song taken off the channels, but it has nothing to do with the fragile religious sentiments of the majority. I want it off the tele simply because it’s a shit song.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Each of us wages a private battle each day between the grand fantasies we have for ourselves and what actually happens.

- Cathy Guisewite

Typos Now In Headlines

 

Proof kar liya karo, kutton - Disinherited BY mom hona chahiye!

I am sure no partner at Amarchand & Mangaldas  & Suresh A Shroff & Co. has disinherited Swati Deshpande's mom from anything. Jahaalat ki bhi hadh hoti hai.


Update: They fixed it (*note to self - ALWAYS take screenshots):

1

MOI Website Registration

Just registered for the online services. Not bad at all. Single log in.

Now waiting for visa renewal (for dependents) to be made online.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Qurbaton Mein Bhi Judaai Ke Zamaane Maange

Ahmed Faraz...

Qurbaton mein bhi judaai ke zamaane maange
Dil vo bemehar ki rone ke bahaane maange

Apna ye haal ke jee haar chuke lut bhi chuke
Aur muhabbat vahi andaaz puraane maange

Hum na hote tou kissi aur ke charche hote
Khalqat-e-shahar to kahne ko fasaane maange

Dil kissi haal pe maane hi nahin jaan-e-'Faraz'
Mil gaye tum bhi to kya aur na jaane maange

Ha!

Link

The title of this 'article' is Jaw-Dropping Statements Made by Indian Politicians. Firstly, Ranjit Sinha CAN NOT be included in the list because he is NOT a politician. Furthermore, Ranjit Sinha SHOULD NOT be in that list because that 'quote' has been taken completely out of context.

Obviously, these things don't matter to the idiotic employees at TNN. Plenty of other names that merit a place in that list. Here are some that should be included:

Giriraj Singh:

Yogi Adityanath:

Subramanian Swami:

Any thoughts on why these idiotic quotes made by these imbeciles politicians did not make the cut off list in that article?

Thanks Pride…

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what's right.

Isaac Asimov

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Dracula Untold

I actually liked this film (barring three absolutely rubbish sequences). The visuals were brilliant!

Although a romantic / emotional angle of the Dracula story is depicted in the film, it really isn't as annoying as the Twilight bullshit.

Charles Dance - Small role but nicely done.

Luke Evans - Not bad at all.

Mirena's chit chat session with Vlad in the tent (the time when he rips off the tent to let the sunlight in) - I just found that entire exchange rather idiotic.

Another disappointing bit of the film was the fight sequence between Mehmet and Vlad. Didn't pack much of a punch when compared to the other battle sequences which were an absolute treat to watch.

The most disappointing part would have to be the way Vlad decided to deal with the other vampires who demanded the death of Ingeras.

He could just use his powers to unblock the sun, killing the vampires (which he eventually did anyway - AFTER Ingeras was taken away by the sissy monk). Vlad could have still kept himself alive with the magic hand waving from inside a tent or just kept the shield of bats blocking the sun over himself while killing all the other vampires

Why would he want to give away his son after all this killing? He could still be with his son. Wasn't that the whole point to begin with?

That entire sequence - from the vampires approaching to kill Ingeras, to Vlad hoisting up one vampire, to the monk holding up the cross, keeping the vampires away and taking Ingeras away, to Vlad waving his hand and disintegrating all the vampires - STUPID! Ruined the entire film for me.

The final sequence of the film… nice! I am not sure if it was the poem that made me like it or Mina's haircut / eyes. Undecided.

BlackBerry Classic - Pre Order

Link

Left Behind

Disappointing.

Nicky Wheelan looked great as a stewardess.

I do recall reading a book years ago with the exact same plot and it wasn't half as lame as this shit film.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

50,000 Or 100,000 ?

Who got it wrong?

 

OR

Idiotic TOI Readers

"

"The directorate general of civil aviation (DGCA) was to conduct an evacuation exercise of the ambani ACJ on Tuesday to see if the crew can safely lead its occupants out in the required time in case of an emergency. Reliance Commercial Developers Pvt Ltd (RCDL), which operates this plane, was practising for the upcoming safety drill. The pilots have told us that they switched on the emergency May Day switch inadvertently and broadcast their practise message to us, which they are not supposed to do during drills," said an official.

Link

If you read the article, you will probably realise that the ownership details or the gift bit about the jet are irrelevant. But… that's NOT the worst part about this story.

Clearly the pilots goofed up and they are the ones to be blamed for this. However, some idiots reading TOI feel this is AMBANI's fault. As per the comments, Mukesh Ambani is personally responsible for the fuck up of the pilots. Take a look at the comments (I put up screenshots with the address bar just to highlight that the comments are on the same article):

 

Sigh… What a jealous lot! Neech zaat. Chotte logon ki chotti soch. Issiliye ye log humesha chotte hi rahenge.

Padhe likhe jaahil OR as amitk2070 would say - 'The literate and the dumb' (*rolls eyes).

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forget their use.

Galileo Galilei

'AAYUSH' Ministry

"

Yoga and Ayurveda not only have a global fan following, they also have a ministry of their own now, after the expansion of Prime Minister Narendra Modi-led Council of Ministers on Sunday.

India now has a dedicated ministry for the promotion of traditional medicine and yoga called AAYUSH, which was earlier part of the Health Ministry. The acronym stands for Ayurveda, yoga, naturopathy, Unani, Siddha and homeopathy.

Link

Firstly why is it being reported with two A's? Does the first A stand for Ainwayi? Also, where is the N for naturopathy?! That said, how is this in line with reducing wasteful expenditure in government? How is this in line with the Minimum Government tagline?

More importantly, why the FUCK does Modi need a dedicated ministry for this? What was wrong in letting this continue as a part of the Health Ministry?

Like it wasn't bad enough that he made Giriraj Singh a minister (just to name one of the many undeserving idiots given positions in the recent expansion / shuffle).

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

AMU Library Issue

 

For those who are not aware of the story: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/agra/Girls-in-AMU-library-will-attract-boys-VC/articleshow/45101345.cms?

My views:

Turning down the demand of students of Women's College, Aligarh Muslim University, for access to the varsity's Maulana Azad Library, vice chancellor Lt Gen Zameer Uddin Shah has said there would be "four times more boys" in the library if girls were allowed in. "The issue is not of discipline, but of space. Our library is packed," the VC said, justifying why the girls were not allowed membership.

That's idiotic. The VC mouthing that makes him sound even more idiotic. That statement makes it abundantly clear that one should not expect any support from Lt Gen Zameer on resolving this particular issue.

Women's College principal Naima Gulrez, echoed the VC's views. Addressing the audience on Monday during the oath-taking ceremony of the new students' union, she said, "We understand the demand for access to the library. But have you girls ever seen the library? It is jam-packed with boys. If girls too were to be present in it, the discipline issue might crop up."

That statement in conjunction with what the VC said makes it obvious that THERE IS NO PROBLEM. Girls being there with the boys would lead to discipline issues? What 'discipline issues' are the VC and Principal referring to? They think the girls and boys will chit chat in the library, disturbing other readers? Exchange fashion tips and recipes? Could these really be the concerns of the authority? No way. Perhaps something more serious.

Why assume that just with the presence of girls, the boys would transform into rapist hounds? OR the girls would turn into nympho-sluts and insist on a gangbang just because they are in the presence of boys? Galat baat.

For the sake of argument, let's assume that there are actually space issues in a library that can seat 1,300 readers at a time. Let's further assume that because of the space constraints, putting up a partition or having a separate women's section is not feasible. Implying that there is no effective way to distance the prey from the hunter girls from the boys.

Further let's also assume that if the girls and boys are brought in such proximity, then it would result in cancerous replication / production / stimulation of their hormones eventually leading to a sex orgy in the library (in addition to eve-teasing, cat-calls, groping, raping and gangbangs).

Now read this - You could always set aside different times of the day to accommodate the readers. You could do it class wise or year wise or … even gender wise (Look at that? What a miracle. Just stumbled upon a solution. Just like that…. OMG)! Surprising this never crossed anyone's mind. If that seems like an overkill, then just set aside days of the week!?

I am not in favour of segregation but if one were to assume that space constraints and 'discipline' ARE ACTUALLY the only issues, then they can very easily be resolved (if anyone is genuinely interested in resolving it). Just saying.

Dikhaawon pe mat jaao. Apni akal ladaao.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

The Expendables 3

The film - Usual stuff.

Antonio Banderas - Best part of the film. Funny guy.

Constantine

Started watching this new series.

Definitely over the top, but that was expected. The arrogance of John Constantine (Matt Ryan), although entertaining - doesn't seem justified (to me).

The first two episodes were watchable. Enjoyable as well (at times).

Episode 3 - The Devil's Vinyl - 'Disappointing' would be an understatement. Towards the end, it just got ridiculous. To have a contract (with the devil) nullified i.e. - Whatever you sold your soul for will be taken back, and your soul is no longer collateral/indebted to the devil - the 'soul-broker' (who brokered the initial deal) has to EAT the signed contract (literally) and this act (of eating and swallowing the contract) will nullify the contract.

*Rolls eyes.

Too much nonsense for me - Thank you very much, won't be continuing with this one.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Preet

Thanks Fakhry…

 

Sonam looks horrible as usual, but the song is good.

Simple song, good music. Haunting even. One of those rare moments where everything seems to just fall into place.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Corroboration?

 

Link

Inspiring or whatever you want to call it, what is to be noted is that the article doesn't cite any corroboration.

Don't want to sound like an insensitive prick (although I am one), but in light of recent events (P.V Arun bullshit), it would make sense if reporters would cite some references other than the family and friends of the person they are praising.

Please note, I am not saying that this story too is made up shit. I am merely stating that when publishing an article, it should be mentioned that the story has been corroborated / verified / substantiated OR not.


For those of you not familiar with the P.V Arun bullshit (I found out only recently. Thanks Surya), here it is:

17-09-2012 - The Hindu - In search of extraterrestrial life  - A boy from Kerala will soon be joining those elite scientists in their search for the existence of extraterrestrial life, working from his own workstation at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), U.S.

P.V. Arun is thrilled at being accepted as a research scientist at NASA as he spoke to The Hindu about his achievements on the sidelines of a felicitation programme organised by the Institute of Human Resources Development here on Tuesday. An alumnus of the College of Engineering, Poonjar, under the IHRD, he has secured admission to a research programme at the renowned Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), U.S. He will be joining as a research scientist at the NASA to explore, in his own words “extraterrestrial elements with the use of remote sensing.”

19-09-2012 - Indian Express - His dreams make a contact with ETs - It is a much-coveted achievement anyone could dream of, but few can reach. At the young age of 25, Arun P V is all smiles, for he has materialised the biggest of his dreams, an admission to the Research Programme at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) as a foreign scholar, and a placement at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) in the US as a research scientist.

07-10-2014 - Telegraph - Patriot Nasa boy turns hero - A young Nasa researcher from Kerala whose patriotic stand had prompted the US space agency to relax a citizenship rule was surprised to find himself the toast of New Delhi during a visit last month.

Arun’s Nasa assignment required him to accept American citizenship at a later date. Since that would have meant losing his Indian nationality, Arun declined.

True to its professionalism, Nasa realised his worth, acknowledged his concerns and took him on board without pressing the citizenship clause. It could not be confirmed whether Nasa had made a similar concession for anyone else before.

30-10-2014 - Deccan Chronicle - Police, family confirm ‘NASA’ fraud - The police has confirmed that claims made by Arun P V that the US space research agency, NASA, had relaxed a citizenship rule for giving him a job were fake. After verifying Arun's documents and passport, police found that Arun has no connection with NASA.

30-10-2014 - Telegraph - Report on youth unsubstantiated - Doubts have been expressed about the authenticity of a claim by a Kerala youth that Nasa, inspired by his patriotism, had relaxed appointment rules for him.

…Since then, reports have emerged that doubted the claim of the youth who has not been able to substantiate his version with documentary proof till now. A reader also wrote to this newspaper, pointing out that the information in the report could not be verified.

Subsequent inquiries have been unable to find evidence that establishes Arun was associated with the US space agency. Kerala police had also conducted independent inquiries and concluded that the claims of Arun appeared to be unfounded.

Under the circumstances and in the absence of documentary proof, The Telegraph is constrained to classify the contents of the report as unverified and unsubstantiated.

This newspaper had published the report after speaking to the youth who requested that he be not quoted. But the information was not verified with either Nasa or the other persons mentioned in the report — a mistake that goes against established journalistic norms.

Complicated To Understand?!?

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/listshow/45019253.cms

Bindisha Sarang thinks there is nothing as complicated to understand as a credit card (in the context of financial products). Strong statement there. I wonder what Bindisha's opinion is about algebra. Heard of it, Bindisha? How about basic arithmetic? Too much for your stupid brain?

Here is the thing - If you can't understand how a credit card works / how the billing cycle works / how the charges and interest works - THEN… you should NOT have one. Simple enough?

Of course, if it were up to me - then you (and idiots like you with shit for brains) wouldn't be eligible to make any decision / transaction that involved cash or cash equivalents. You wouldn't be eligible to even open a bank account, let alone have access to a credit card. Most definitely you wouldn't be allowed to pen such articles. Sadly… it isn't up to me.

It's not a crime to be dumb (Personally, I think it should be but…). Just because YOU are dumb, doesn't necessarily mean that the instrument / concept (in this case - The Credit Card) is MOST complicated or even TOO complicated. It is complicated FOR YOU. That is NOT the same as the product itself being too complicated.

Here is what you can do - Get yourself a proper education and try to develop some common sense. Until then, stay away from Credit Cards (and drafting articles).

Idiotic Song

The track is titled 'Ishq Kutta Hai'.

A while back there was the Ishq Kameena track. By logical deduction, there will soon be a track titled Ishq Haraami - assuming there isn't one already (*rolls eyes).

Yaar, koi zabardasti tou nahin hai ke gaana likhna hi padega. If you can't come up with sensible lyrics, then just leave it at the beats/tune. Make it a trance/dance track with just the beats. Aise ghatiya lyrics kyon likh rahe ho?!?

Shaikh Saahab Se Rasm-O-Raah Na Ki

Faiz Ahmed Faiz…

Shaikh saahab se rasm-o-raah na ki
Shukr hai zindagi tabaah na ki

Tujh ko dekha tou ser-e-chashm hue
Tujh ko chaaha tou aur chaah na ki

Tere dast-e-sitam ka ajz nahin
Dil hi kaafir tha jiss ne aah na ki

The shab-e-hijr kaam aur bahut
Hum ne fikr-e-dil-e-tabaah na ki

Kaun qaatil bachcha hai shahar mein 'faiz'
Jiss se yaaron ne rasm-o-raah na ki

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