Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Inter-caste Marriage

ahh two words, I have a problem with .. Caste and Marriage.

Caste.. well I don't think anyone with a thinking mind would ever conclude that discriminating / preferential treatment - because of the caste of an individual - is a good thing.

Marriage - well I don't exactly despise it .. it's just the concept doesn't make sense to me. It's like why do I need a license from society to be with someone I love. I've always maintained that one CAN be committed without being married, and if one HAS to be unfaithful, then marriage doesn't present a real deterrant.

At the end of the day.. if the one you want to be with, insists on marriage, then what the hell. Just because I feel the concept is over-rated doesn't imply that it's over-rated for everyone. The point is.. if it makes you happy.. it can't be that bad.

The opposition (if any) to an intercaste marriage comes from Parents and society.

Society.. well.. ahem.. hardly an issue. I mean if I am miserable, the society isn't going to come to my rescue and sort out my problems (at least I don't expect the society to do so). Secondly, get 10 - 20 people who think along the same terms as you do, and there - you have a society of your own. Because of these two reasons, I don't give any weightage to the society.

Now about the other bit. Parents. I genuinely believe that no parent would be happy if their decision makes their kids miserable. Sure parents think differently about some issues., but they are just trying to do the best they can in the best way they know how to.

If the issues are communicated effectively, then I don't see why it would be next to impossible to convince one's parents. I am not saying it's going to be easy, but then again, things that are worth it are rarely achieved easily.

In my view - the problem is primarily the fact that parents are not convinced with how informed or responsible their offspring is. They might be right at times in concluding so.. but at the end of the day, no parent can live their kids life. The kid has to do it on their own.

There comes a time when the parents should just let the kids decide for themselves. The point is - if you believe your offspring is matured enough to get married, then how come you can't respect his/her choice of the partner?

The choice MIGHT not be to your liking.. but what is more important? Your offspring's happiness or the fact that they do what you've decided?

I am not saying that the offspring's decision would ensure HAPPINESS indefinitely, but neither can the parents choice ensure HAPPINESS indefinitely.

At least let the person be responsible for his/her own life. If the couple isn't happy, then at least they can't blame their parents for it. BUT if the parents decision was imposed.. and the couple ends up unhappy, then the parents WILL (and in most cases - SHOULD) be blamed.

Now, if one were to think in these terms, I dont see HOW or WHY a parent would want to impose their choices and/or decisions onto their kids.

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