Sunday, June 28, 2009

Angels & Demons

Picture 1 

For the ones who haven’t read the book:

Definitely watchable action flick. Not half as bad as some of the crap you end up with these days. Awesome visuals. If action isn’t your thing, well you get a tour of Rome. That should be worth something, right?

 For the ones who have read the book: 

Total crap. Complete waste of time. What the hell happened to Maximilan Kohler??! The most interesting character in the story (in the book) doesn’t even exist in the movie? WTF!

Ron Howard – Imbecile, Idiot. Religion is flawed because man is flawed. This movie is flawed because you and your crew didn’t bother to read the bloody book! Was this movie supposed to be based on the book or someone’s cheap abridged version of the book?

Why isn’t Robert in the chopper when camerlengo is flying off with the antimatter!? What the hell is wrong with you guys. THIS is how it was supposed to be:

Robert Langdon was surprised by how heavy the canister was. He ran to the other side of the chopper and jumped in the rear compartment where he and Vittoria had sat only hours ago. He left the door open and buckled himself in. Then he yelled to the camerlegno in the front seat.

“Fly, Father!”

The camerlegno craned back at Langdon, his face bloodless with dread. “What are you doing!”

“You fly! I’ll throw!” Langdon barked. “There’s no time! Just fly the blessed chopper!”

Why is Hassasin the assassin so lame? Wasn’t he supposed to kidnap Vittoria? How about attempting / intending to rape her (well sort of)? Allow me to refresh your memory:

The Hassassin lay his unconscious trophy in the rear of the van and took a moment to admire her sprawled body. She was not as beautiful as the women he bought, and yet she had an animal strength that excited him. Her body was radiant, dewy with perspiration. She smelled of musk.

As the Hassasin stood there savoring his prize, he ignored the throb in his arm. The bruise from the falling sarcophagus, although painful, was insignificant . . . well worth the compensation that lay before him. He took consolation in knowing the American who had done this to him was probably dead by now.

Gazing down at his incapacitated prisoner, the Hassassin visualized what lay ahead. He ran a palm up beneath her shirt. Her breasts felt perfect beneath her bra. Yes, he smiled. You are more than worthy. Fighting the urge to take her right there, he closed the door and drove off into the night.

There was no need to alert the press about this killing . . . the flames would do that for him.

This is not all that you have missed. There is a lot more. Boy you guys messed up the book. Shame on you!

Even if I am willing to ignore the sleep walking performances, forgive you for ignoring parts of the book – BUT how dare you attempt to make Angels & Demons WITHOUT MAXIMILAN KOHLER! Did you fools release the movie before you finished making it! Incompetent son of a …..

There is so much more I want to say, but chuck it. Basically – DON’T WATCH

2 Opinions:

Agnel said...

Really, how cruel can you bookworms get?

NO BOOK CAN BE MADE INTO A MOVIE especially a book of this nature, first of all if you loved the book, then DON'T see the movie.

For how many more years are you folks gonna watch the movie and still crib?



Don't say a thing about Ron Howard :P, he is Fonzi's best buddy from Happy days ;-)

L o r d R a j said...

Hey Agnel,

Fonzi - oh boy.. don't get me started :)

No nook CAN be made into a movie.. well, some books SHOULDN'T be made into movies.

Leaving out some inconsequential parts is fine. Leaving out Maximilan IS NOT. He is the most interesting character in the story. You can't leave out a character like that.

If you see, in my review - I have put it up in two parts. The one's who HAVE read the book will not enjoy it.

Hey - have you seen THE SHINING? Now that was a book too. Made into a reasonably good movie.

How about - the Godfather. Wonderful book, wonderful movie.

Some people do a good job. Some don't.

Lord of The Rings - I read that book when I was a kid. And the movie wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. It was fun, but apparently, my imagination was better than the directors vision. Can't complain about that.

But here - IMPORTANT events and characters were missed out. Hence the complaining. :D

Bookworms.. err. well not exactly. But I wish my father would read this. He would be thrilled. Someone calling me a bookworm. Now that's a first.